2012

I will never be good enough.
Happy motherfucking New Year.
I will never ever make it.

Baby

Say it again
Baby
Just say it again
Because my world
Lights up at the
Sound of your voice
And you don't even
Know how much I need
A guiding glow

Say it again
Baby
Just say it again
I'm smiling at the
Thought you just
Holding my hand
And leading me to
A fairytale

So say it again
Baby
Just say it again
No matter what you do
I'm starstruck by you
And you've got the
Chance to make a
Wonderful thing
Out of a single word

Lit Up By Hope

Somebody once told me
Life is what you make it
And sometimes
I can only sit and wonder
Why it is that I can't
Believe it's true?

Look into my eyes
You'll find nothing but
A world of hurt
Mirrored in a beautiful
Reflection
And lit up by hope

Just give this one last shot
A chance at last redemption
Adding faith to one more
Tomorrow
And another dream
To my collection

Record

Play me like a record, baby
And watch me as I crack
'Cuz the only way you're happy
Is if my life spins off track
You lead me on and shoot me down
Then move on to other girls
You only have one sense of mind
Sex is the center of your world

So watch me as I walk away
I'm tired of these games
I'm moving on and growing up
I suggest you do the same

The Looking Glass

"Peer into the looking glass, my dear
And see what there is to see
There's a whole world of magick here
You just have to believe."

The lady looked into my eyes
And gave me a intuitive smile
To her delight and my surprise
I stayed with her for a while

I gazed into the scrying glass
It's call was pulling me
It showed me what could live and last
And everything that could be

The lady cried out with delight
"You have a gift, my child!"
We talked and laughed throughout the night
And our new world was reconciled

Something settled in that glass
Something only I could see
A future replaying the past
One created solely for me

My eyes filled up with tears
And I threw the glass away
It shattered into pieces near
And in shards it now must stay

For sometimes the future must be known
To save you from mistakes
But other times, let it alone
The past must be erased

Your Creation

Break me down easy
'Cuz I'm much more
Fragile than I seem
Break me down easy
There's no more will
Left to dream

Oh
Your broken hearts
Like little stars
Forming their
Own galaxy

Star-crossed
Not only in your fantasies
Will you stay lost
In this universe you've made
Carry on
With this voyage you've created
Carry on
With your creation

Walk this road I gave you
And don't forget to look
Both ways
Walk this road I gave you
Save the trip for
Another day

Your stupid dreams
Like solar beams
Flaring up
At all attention

Star-crossed
Not only in your fantasies
Will you stay lost
In this universe you've made
Carry on
With this voyage that you created
Carry on
With your creation

You brought it on yourself
Every single time
And yet you blame the stars
And everything around them
It shouldn't hurt this time
Yet it always breaks your heart

Star-crossed
Not only in your fantasies
Will you stay lost
In this universe you made
Carry on
With this voyage you created
Carry on
With your creation

Life Nevermore

Hold me down
Slow me down
Soothe me with
Your false promises

A life nevermore
And a memory long forgotten
Dreams left to the shadows
And nightmares brought to life

Entwined in a heartbreak
And held together by the shards
Leaving me in your downfall
And letting your weaknesses
Be more than what they seem

Break me down
Calm me down
Destroy me
With your eyes

A story long forgotten
And a nightmare brought to life
A flame killed by ash
And a life that was nevermore

Entwined in a heartbreak
And held together by the shards
Leaving me in your downfall
And letting your weaknesses
Become your biggest asset
Against what I was

Hold me down
Slow me down
Soothe me
With a false promise

A life nevermore
And a nightmare brought to life
Dreams left to the shadows
And a memory not long forgotten

Honey-Kissed Poison

Sweet venom
Hot lips meeting
In the dark night
Anxiety ripping
All coherent thoughts
From my mind
Your beautiful
Light shining
Over me

Intoxicating nectar
Warm breath on my neck
Me wrapped
In an embrace
But held together
With a smile
Deathly dreams
Becoming a reality

Honey-kissed poison
Words being sung
Spoken, written
But never allowed
As they are
Forbidden
By no one but you
Flawless dreams
Turned to dust

One Chance

A rainbow falling over a storm cloud
Holding a secret unlike any other
And yet it's there
I've seen it every day
Through these brown eyes
For my whole life
Or at least what it is
Now that you exist

Some are hellbent on keeping
The rainbows hidden away
Others want it for all of the
World to see
But regardless, this is my
Streak of color
And I want it my way

So give me one chance to prove
That not every storm cloud
Is the same
Give me one chance to show you
That I can make that difference
Give me one chance to enlighten
Every doubt you've ever had
Give me one chance to prove
That I can walk on rainbows

Let Me Down Easy

Let me get this straight
Just one more time
'Cuz my head keeps spinning
And I don't even know myself
Anymore

Three times in less than two months
Let's hear the lies once again
Because chivalry is dead
And obviously I don't deserve it
Even if it did exist

So let's just let me go
This time, I think I've given in
To every single thought
That has been holding me back

Because obviously, I'm as far down
As I could ever be
What's a few more words
Going to do?

This One's For You, Baby

Once spoken
Words cannot be so easily taken back
Once whispered
Promises cannot be so easily forgotten
Once lied to
People can never learn to trust again
Once broken
Hearts cannot ever be repaired

And they wonder why
I'm so lonely
They wonder why
I write these words
Maybe if they'd
All stop leaving
The pain wouldn't
Ever hurt

They wonder why
I grow so attached
They wonder why
I become so afraid
Maybe if he'd just
Think to listen
The pain would
Just go away

Without You

Innocence forgotten
Once the taste of poison
Met those lips
Leaving the arms of the
One you once claimed
To love so dearly

Into the arms of another
You left her at the mercy
Of men and cried when
She was no longer yours
You professed your adoration
But left her there to bleed

When she screamed out your name
And said she wanted only you
You were gone in a flash
To the heart of another
Yet you blame it on her
And leave her accepting your
Endless amount of guilt

Well, she finally gave up
She told you that it was
The end of an era
And you cried one last time
About how it was her fault
Yet again, how it was always
Her fault

So she dropped the phone
Raised her head
And walked into the future
Without you

Crazy

Shaking
Nervous
It's cold
But I'm heated
Warm, completely
Fuzzy, inside
And out

Smiling
Giggling
At absolutely
Nothing
But at everything
Happy
For the sake of it
Never once
Been so excited

And it only took
One single text

Everything

Beautiful blue
Sapphire eyes
Shining on me
Like a moonbeam
And giving me
Something to wish
For yet again

Bright smile
Aimed at me
Glorious, like
The clouds parting
As the sun
Rays settle in
Over the rain-washed
Pavement of
A country road

Everything
I could ever dream of
Everything
I could always long for
Everything
I could never have
Everything
I will always love

Want

A simple word
A desire for something
A longing for something
A lie

Every time
You said the word
I listened with
An open mind
And a glimmer
Of hope that only
You could smash
Into fragments
Of a memory

I watched you
Turn my days
To dreams
And my nights
To fairytales
Happily ever after
Didn't seem so
Far away

But you left
Took a step
Outside of what
We had
And wanted more
Than I was
Willing to give
Stepped into
The sunlight
And let your
True colours shine

And your want was
All I wanted
But what you wanted
Was more than I
Wanted to give

To Drown

Taking the breath
From my lungs
Leaving me to drown
In a pool of loneliness
Watching my struggle
Against myself

I'm unbeautiful
I'm forgetful
I'm impatient
Sarcastic
Tempermental

But I'm loving
I'm lonely
I need you
Come back to me

Wearing my heart
On my sleeve
Letting go of
One last silver tear
Crying out your
Beautiful, sweet name

Simple Recognition

"Take me away from here."
She whispered sweet nothings
Into deaf ears
And let a tragedy of love songs
Be created from her words

"Love me for forever."
He whispered, but soon the
Days turned into nevers
And the beautiful chaos
Turned to shattered glass

"Please, don't go."
She screamed into the night
Of teardrops and powdered snow
Composing a concerto for
A tortured heart

He was silent
An opener for
Words to come

She was silent
Simple recognition
Of a familiar ending

"Let me leave you."
He finally whispered, although
Her pain was more than he knew
Ripping past beauties
Into midnight shreds

"Take me away from here."
She whispered sweet nothings
Into deaf ears
And created a glorious tragedy
From destructive words

Simply Mesmerizing: One Year Down

Hello there. Zia here. It's time for my annual recap on the year. Gotta keep my songs straight somehow. ;)

This year proved to be the most challenging one out of all of them. I feel as though I've gone on a journey of self-exploration, and came back thinking, "Wow! Let's go again and see what else I can discover!"

Throughout the relationships, heartbreaks, drama, and disasters, all I could focus on was surviving. But now, a year later, I can look back and think, "Holy shit, that was an amazing year." I've never had such a great, rollercoaster ride kinda year before. And quite honestly, I feel as though I've never been more sure of who I am.

Mello SL.
French hornist.
Author.
Poet.
Lyricist.
Friend.
Lover.
Daughter.
Student.

There are so many things in this world that I can't even begin to imagine. It makes me realize how everything is interconnected, how we all play a part in this crazy play we call life.

This year, I intend on not only defining hurt, but in defining love. In finding Zia. There's something more to this world than what meets my eyes. And regardless of how I get there, I will make this year one to be remembered.

Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect."

Get out there. Define hurt.
<3 Zia

Suspended Song

Lost again
Lost again
Singing a song
That I should've long
Forgotten
That I had forgotten
That I never should
Ask for
Again

But, oh, I'm singing
I have the chords memorized
Every touch is my melody
And passionate kisses, the rhythm
Your eyes are the harmony
And our love, a suspension

Can't find a way
Back into
What we had
So long ago
My way is blocked
And I'm trapped
In a world
Empty of the
Sweetest sound
That I will never
Hear again

Oh, I'm singing
I have the chords memorized
Every touch is my melody
And passionate kisses, the rhythm
Your eyes are the harmony
And our love, a suspension

Riverbend

Find it on the edge
Of what should have been
Something, anything
Other than this rushing
River of torment
And watch me
Cast it to the ripples
And walk away
As it is carried
Onto what I hope
Will never again
Be a riverbend
Of my emotions

Edge of Control

---- 6-5-11

Comfortable silence
Oh, the things I never
Said, I never said are
Running back and forth
Through my head, oh whoa

Long moments wasted
Oh, the minutes dropping
Down like grains of sand
Breaking out from all
Of my plans

Out of my hands

Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything gone
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke
Down and lost your mind?
Or this just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all to
The edge of control

Forgotten places
Oh, the memories I
Tried to leave alone
Are aiming to take
Over, oh whoa

Second forever
Oh, the silver medal
Never takes the gold
And you cry out
From your soul

Out from your soul

Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything's gone
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke
Down and lost your mind?
Or she just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all
To the edge of control

Everything, everything
That you said to me
And everything shattered
All that I could believe
What more do you want,
Do you want from me?
It's out of my hands

Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything gone,
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke down
And lost your mind?
Or is this just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all
To the edge of control

Dear Future Self

Dear Zia,

I'm very proud of you.
You made it inot UCLA, or DePaul, or Wesleyan, right?
And you became a physically fit person?
I hope the mello freshie respected you.
And I really hope you made ISU.
I know how hard you worked to get there.
How are your horn chops?
I remember how difficult it was to gain lip endurance, but I know you worked really hard for it.
And you better gave made high honor roll your senior year.
I know you wanted it, Zi.

Don't forget those people who helped you out along the way, okay?

Madeline
Autumn
Anna
Andrea
Kathy
Cara
Grant
Kevin
Katie
Dee
Jenny
Holly
Jack
All of those exes
Well, you have a few now, right?

These people made you who you are.
Especially your mom. Don't forget her. She will always be your best friend.
And don't let a boy break you.
Make me proud, babygirl.
I love you!

With much pride,
Zia Sampson

Never Need You Again

Broken down by you
Picked up by you
And broken down once more

And yet I'm standing here today
Saying I'm better off without you

I guess I should also say
I'm damn proud of who I've become

I'm working to make high honor roll
I'm a first chair musician as a sophomore
I'm a section leader
I workout not because I'm obligated
But because it makes me happy
I'm starting to believe in my own beauty
I have friends and now know who to trust

The ones I've fought with
The ones who I left
The ones who are back
I have people here to lift me up

I have people who call me attractive
Who want me
People who aren't afraid to say it

Yeah, you broke me
But the girl you left
Isn't who she was
You made me so much stronger
And I will never need
A boy again

Dreamer's Lullaby

Chapter 1, Part 2:

Alex looked into grey eyes. They alnmost mirrored his own, but they were always darker. Always deeper.
It had occured to him that Abrielle was like the weather. Some days, calm and more beautiful than the cloudless sky. Others, more violent than a raging hurricane. Needless to say, he had seen her like a thunderstorm on most occassions.
"Abrielle, you know I trust you," he quietly said, trying to soothe her. "I'm just lost without my Maria."
She sighed. Her expression shifted from irritation to calm in an instant.
"Alex, she is gone. She will never be the same girl you knew. Can't you see that? Once you join Darien, you don't come back!"
The last phrase was a whisper, mostly furious, but with a hint of remorse. The air around them grew icy cold when Darien's name was spoken. The whooshing of the trees startled Alex, and he found himself drawing closer to Abrielle unintentionally.
"Abrielle," he whispered. "Abrielle, I don't like this." There was a hint of panic in his voice.
Her eyes were darker than ever. "Lilai!" she called.
All movement stopped in the forest. Not another sound was heard.

Dreamer's Lullaby

Author's Note:

This will be a story written in short series format. I will add more as I go. XD

Chapter One, Part One: Abrielle

He was restless, pacing back and forth between the trees. Tired, grey eyes shifted from one side of the forest to the other. Checking his watch, he realized that she was late again.
It was dark on that August night. Half of the beautiful full moon was covered by clouds, with specks of light illuminating the black sky. The light wind whispered sweet, soothing promises in his ear, but he shook his head. This was the end.
"Alex."
He froze, temporarily in a state of paranoia. Where was she? Why did she want to meet him in Temperance Forest at midnight?
"I told you I'd be here."
"But," he stammered, "but why tonight? What's going on?"
She was still out of sight. Her voice was hidden by trees, but so rich and musical, a song was created by her words.
"Alex, you needed me. I could tell. I felt the pounding of your heart that night."
Maria. The voice was an echo of the past. His heart was ripped in two, his mind darkened by the pain. She was the world. Her eyes were the ocean, her hair was the earth beneath him. When she left, that ground split apart and surrendered him to the molten lava of his mind.
"No," he lied. "I can survive."
As soon as he had said the words, he knew that they were wrong. A howl erupted from the forest, sending a shiver through Alex's body.
"You dare lie to me?"
He trembled, and his eyes were cast upon the ground. More so than ever, he regretted allowing Abrielle into his life. Into his mind, thoughts, dreams, spirit. Into him.
Each of the stars seemed to brighten ever so slight. Alex knew she would show herself to him.
"No."
She was there. Abrielle, fallen angel. Abrielle, guardian of the Temperance Forest. Abrielle, protector of the Forgotten Realm.

Another Picture

--- 3-22-11

You said, "Baby, I really love you
I'll do anything
I promise I'm forever yours."
But now you snatched it up
Took it and left me tears to sting
Now I'm crying behind closed doors

I miss the days when "I love you"
Meant something in your eyes
'Cuz leaving me's the opposite
But I guess that I really
Shouldn't be so surprised
They always leave me anyways

You promised to be
My knight in shining armor
And to save me from myself
Now we've come to a close
And I'm just another
Picture on your shelf

Every couple goes through
Phases they just can't escape
And I knew that this was ours
My friends have told me they've
Been through it, it's a twist of fate
And if we try we can go far

Am I just stupid for believing
In these fairytales?
My daydreams help to keep me strong
You told me we'd give it a week
And I believed your words
But now I know that I was wrong

You promised to be
My knight in shining armor
And to save me from myself
Now we've come to a close
And I'm just another
Picture on your shelf

You said, "Baby, I'm sorry
But you'll be okay
It won't hurt for very long."
I told that I'd give your
Hoodie back and I loved you
Then when the phone clicked, you were gone

Author's Note: This was by far the most difficult song for me to ever write. I began it during the day he broke up with me, as I felt the change in our relationship. I knew it would happen. Then the day after, I finished it. The melody is absolutely gorgeous, but it's so hard for me to sing. It's a painful song, but I truly love it.

Kisses In The Rain

--- 3-22-11
I feel a decade older
Can't sleep at night
You don't hold me tight
I feel a millenium colder
It's an icy storm
No one keeps me warm

Oh, only a little bit longer
If I close my eyes
This can disappear
Oh, I told you, you were stronger
All I do is cry
'Cuz I want you here
I guess you're moving on
When I blink, you'll be long gone

I won't forget the way you
Promised you loved me, too
The way your eyes look when you smile
And the way you kissed me, baby
The night when it kept raining
It was every girl's wildest dream
It meant the world and more to me

It's just another upset
Every other night
It's another fight
I feel the need to confess
When I'm not close to fine
You can make me shine

Oh, this is all my problem
Without you here
The sun's dark, my dear
Oh, I can't blame you at all
You were an angel
And now, I'm nothing

I won't forget the way you
Promised you loved me, too
The way your eyes look when you smile
And the way you kissed me, baby
Outside when it kept raining
It was every girl's wildest dream
It meant the world and more
It meant the world and more to me

Author's Note: I started this on 3-16-11 because I really felt the break-up coming. When, I had no clue. But I finished it the day after...

Whispered Wishes

--- 3-16-11

Whispered wishes
One more time
Missing the past
The happy
The laughs
Sneaking a smile
One more time
Across the room
Baby, I miss you
And one more
Whispered wish
Escapes my lips
As I stare out
My window I
nto the night sky

Please don't leave me
One more time
To the moonlight
Whispered wishes
Stolen kisses
Please don't leave me

Mirror Mirror

--- 3-16-11

Mirror mirror on the wall
Whose heart just dropped?
Oh, she falls
One more time, one more time
Just another night of screaming
Into her reflection

Why'd you do this to yourself?
He's gonna leave you
Like the rest of them, baby
Couldn't you just stay quiet?
You keep speaking without censor
Meet the shadows, baby
They're your comfort
Through the heartbreak

Looking glass speak to me
Tell me what I'm missing
Though I see
White hot, white hot temper
One more night of crying
At her own mistakes

Why'd you do this to yourself?
He's gonna leave you
Like the rest of them, baby
Couldn't you just stay quiet?
You speak without censor
Meet yourself in the night
It's your comfort through
The heartbreak

Mirror mirror on the wall
I'm looking back
These tears ever fall
So cold, so cold
Just another night of screaming
At my reflection

Why'd you do this to yourself?
He's gonna leave you
Like the rest of them, baby
Couldn't you stay silent?
You keep speaking without censor
Meet these shadows
They're your comfort through
The heartbreak

And then the glass cracked

Mass Media Message

--- 3-1-11

I could write a book
On you, if you'd let me
It'd be my favourite
Kind of fairytale

Chapter by chapter could
Be a different plot line
But there'd be the cheesy
Ending that this life entails

Let's put it this way

You are my everything
My whole life and more
Let's take an adventure
And see what the future
Has in store
For us, for us



I'd make us a movie
If you want one
The type with the
High school problems

Scene by scene could show
Our friendships changing
But in the end there are
Those who stayed loyal

Let's say it bluntly

You are my everything
My whole life and more
Let's take an adventure
Ad see what this world
Has in store
For us, for us

You are my everything
My whole heart and more
Let's take an adenture
And see what our life
Has in store
For us, for us

The High School Catwalk

--- 2-23-11

There's a knot
In my stomach
I'm wishing he didn't
Have control
There are some things
He just shouldn't ask me
It makes me sick, but
It doesn't show

Come here, everyone
He'll tell you a secret
Though I used duct tape
And super glue

Don't talk by
The high school catwalk
Unless you don't give a damn
About who knows your whole
Sex life or the problems
In your fam
They don't care how
Much you cry
So I suggest you
Run and hide
'Cuz these lying models
Give new meaning to high drama

There's a tear
In my eyes as
I apologize for the
Hundredth time
I didn't mean it
Guess I didn't learn
That in this school, they
Let rumors fly

Don't talk by
The high school catwalk
Unless you don't give a damn
About who knows your whole
Sex life or the problems
In your fam
They don't care how much
You cry, so I suggest
You run and hide
'Cuz these lying models
Give new meaning to
High drama

They can't see you
When you be you
Because society doesn't accept
Those who are different from the rest
I didn't expect them to accept me

Don't talk by the
High school catwalk
Unless you don't give a damn
About who knows your whole sex life
Or the problems in your fam
They don't care how much
You cry, so I suggest you
Run and hide
'Cuz these lying models
Give new meaning to
High drama

Don't talk by the
High school catwalk

Don't Fake Happy

--- 2-15-11

Can you dream with
Your eyes wide open?
Are you drifting or
Are you focused?
I believe the time is now

Can you breathe when
Your heart starts pounding?
Can you fly or
Are you grounded?
I believe in miracles

Let's watch the sunrise
Over the problems
We're having in this time
It's time to realize that
We are the change that
We want in our lives
'Cuz we gotta keep trying
To live like we're dying
Nothing can be simple
In the end
Stop faking the smiles
'Cuz happy isn't something
To pretend

Did you listen when
They were screaming?
Are their words
Making you stop dreaming?
I believe it's time to breathe

When did we fall
In love with lying?
How does make-up
Conceal our crying?
I believe in honesty

Let's watch the sunrise
Over the darkness
That's shading our eyes
It's time to realize
That if we succeed isn't
Their path to decide
'Cuz if we believe the choice
To ignore all the voices
Telling us how to live
Then we can disregard
How much they choose to give

Can you dream with
Your eyes wide open?
Are you drifting or
Are you focused?
When did we fall in
Love with lying?
How does make-up
Conceal our crying?
I believe in miracles

Let's watch the sunrise
Over the problems
We're having in this time
It's time to realize that
We are the change that
We want in our lives
'Cuz we gotta keep trying
To live like we're dying
Nothing's simple in the end
Stop faking the smiles
Happy's not something to pretend

Let's watch the sunrise
Over the darkness that's
Shading our eyes
It's time to realize
That whether we succeed
Isn't their path to decide
'Cuz if we believe the choice
To ignore all the voices
Telling us how to live
Then we can disregard
How much they choose to give

Ready To Let You In

---- 1-25-11

I'm trying to work this out
But there's a part of me
Not getting by
What should I try to do?
I love you, but this
Stress is getting me

I don't wanna let you go
This love is my favourite thing to know

Baby, I'd fight with you forever
If it meant being in your arms
I'd let you do whatever
If you tried to keep me warm
'Cuz the day you wanna leave
Is the day I go insane
You'd never be the problem
I'd only have myself to blame

I don't wanna have to break
Away from you when I'm
A little too close
I can't help who I am
I'm selfish and I want you
Whenever I can have your time

What do I have to do
To prove that I can
Really learn to trust?
I know it's hard for me
But I can say that I'm
Ready to let you in

What do you say?
Can you promise me you'll stay?

Because I'd fight with you forever
If it meant being in your arms
I'd let you do whatever
If you tried to keep me warm
'Cuz the day you wanna leave
Is the day I go insane
You'd never be the problem
I'd only have myself to blame...

Lost In Time

---- 1-24-11

What's a road
If you can't see
Those white lines?
Where would we
Be if we lost
The stop signs?
It would be a pile-up
Everybody would get stuck
Nothing to guide us
To our destiny

What's a night
If you can't see
The stars shine?
Where would we
Be if we were
All confined?
We'd lose a sense of mind
And never get lost in time
Nothing bright for everyone
To see

So why don't we
Fix what's missing
And forget the past?
Erase the dumb fights
Ad focus on the laughs
Stop all the crying
Wipe away the tears
Learn how to trust
Overcome our fears

What's a song
If you can't
Hear the music?
Would we live
Or would we
Really lose it?
It's what we need to survive
Something between you and I
What we need to make it
Through the pain

So why don't we
Fix what's missing
And forget the past?
Erase the dumb fights and
Focus on the laughs
Stop all the crying
Wipe away the tears
Learn how to trust
Overcome our fears

Fall harder in love
Than ever before
Walk hand in hand
Through the future's door
Lose ourselves in a
Fantasy
Always know that it's
You and me

What's a night
If you can't see
The stars shine?
What would you
Do if you weren't
Ever mine?

Why don't we
Fix what's missing
And forget the past?
Erase the dumb fights and
Focus on the laughs
Stop all the crying
Wipe away the tears
Learn how to trust
Overcome our fears

Infuriating

Maybe you won't change
But maybe I can
I don't want this stress
Or to be played
I'm sick of your mind games
I'm sick of this "friendship"
I sick of this irritating
Complicating
Infuriating
Relationship
That you seem so dead-set
On saving

Turning Point

-- 1-21-11

Hey, fairy princess
What are you wishin' for?
Don't close your eyes
Or open the closet door
The monster's in there
So get back in your bed
Is this reality
Or is it in your head?

Hey, little angel
How are those wings going?
If you've got the halo
When you cry, it's snowing
But don't look down there
Although Earth sends its call
Stay up on your cloud
Oh, baby, please don't fall

What are you gonna do
When the world's after you?
Running from the attack
Don't you ever look back
Speak the right and the wrong
But you've gotta be strong
When you're up for the fight
The turning point of your life

Hey, little angel
They like the way you're flying
And when you're not there
The whole world is crying
You're all they've got left
You hear their prayers at night
So don't stop shining
'Cuz you're their only light

Hey, fairy princess
I really like your crown
What's with that sad face?
What ever made you frown?
You say you're lonely
You're always by yourself
I guess that you've learned
Happiness isn't wealth

What are you gonna do
When the world's after you?
Running from the attack
Don't you ever look back
Speak the right and the wrong
But you've gotta be strong
When you're up for the fight
The turning point of your life

Hey, fairy princess
What are you wishin' for?
Don't close your eyes
Or ope the closet door
Hey, little angel
How are those wings going?
You've got the halo
So when you cry, it's snowing

What are you gonna do
When the world's after you?
Running from the attack
Don't you ever look back
Speak the right and the wrong
But you've gotta be strong
When you're up for the fight
The turning point of your life

Love Out Loud

--- 1-12-11

Livin' love, livin' love out loud
Guess I've got something to be proud of
You lift me like I'm on a high wire
A single kiss lights my lips on fire

Livin' love, livin' love out loud
Don't say a word, not a single sound
As we slip away to a secret night
Hold me close, baby, you're my light

Oh, don't you, don't you know
What you do to me?
Every time you touch me
I can hardly breathe
You've got me, got me now
Without trying at all
And I know that you can catch me
Whenever I fall
So don't leave
Oh, baby, please
'Cuz I need you more than you
Probably know
So love out loud and live it
As long as you please don't go

Livin' love, livin' love out loud
You hold me close and seem very proud
I really just wanna be your girl
'Cuz you told me that I'm you're world

Oh, love, livin' love out loud
Say my name, baby, let it out
I know that you love me through the flaws
This emotion is pure and raw

Oh, don't you, don't you know
What you do to me?
Every time you touch me
I can hardly breathe
You've got me, got me now
Without trying at all
And I know you can catch me
Whenever I fall
So don't leave
Oh, please
'Cuz I love you more
Than you knows
So love out loud, live it
As long as you please don't go

Livin' love, livin' love out loud
Guess I've got something to be proud of
You lift me up a whole lot higher
A single kiss lights my lips on fire

Oh, love, livin' love, livin' love out loud
Don't say a word, not a single sound
We'll slip away to a secret night
Hold me close because you're my light

Don't you, don't you know
What you do to me?
Every time you touch me
I can hardly breathe
You've got me, got me now
Without trying at all
'Cuz I know you're here to catch me
Whenever I fall
So don't leave
Oh, baby, please
I love you more
Than you'll ever know
So love out loud and live it
As long as you don't go

Don't go... don't go
Don't you, don't you know
What you do to me?

Eighth Grade

Yes, it was a while ago
Yes, I should be over it
But you know what?
I'm definitely not
It hurts
It still hurts to this day
Almost two years later
'Cuz I know what they say
About me behind my back
Still
Still

Today I'm letting it all out
Just one more tear to cry
Just one more person who
Just doesn't get it
Just one more fucking problem
Just one more person who
Just doesn't give a shit

Different

I walked by a mirror today
Didn't recognize the girl in it
What changed me?

My hair's grown out more
And I'm a little bit blonder
My face cleared up more
And I'm a little bit prettier
My weight's went down more
And I'm a little bit smaller
My life's gotten better
And I'm a little bit happier

But with that comes change
Lost innocence
Lost concepts

What was locked away
Is let go
What was stored away
Is released
What I kept away
Isn't hidden anymore

Not Too Hot

Empty without reason
What do I have to be sad about?
I've still got friends
Still not a scar on me
Still have an amazing boyfriend
What more do I want?

Empty without logic
What do I have to long for?
A beautiful face
Some talent
And a little less flub would be nice
Why can't I have it?

Headfirst

Here we go
One more time
Can't seem to
Get this heart of mine
I'm going in
To what I've always feared

Here I am
And here I stand
Can't seem to
Hold back what I know
I'm falling in
To what I wanted bad

And now you know what they could've had

Uh-oh
I'm falling in love, headfirst
Uh- oh
Guess I'm done expecting the worst
What can I say?
I love the rush I get everytime
You say that I'm yours
And you are mine

Here we go
One more time
Can't let this
Be a habit of mine
I'm jumping in
To an ocean of love

And now you see what you wanted, wanted

Uh-oh
I'm falling in love, headfirst
Uh-oh
Guess I'm done expecting the worst
What can I say?
I love the rush I get everytime
You say that I'm yours
And you are mine

I didn't see it coming
I really wanted to start running
Cuz when all you've known is alone
Being so caught up doesn't feel like home

Uh-oh
I'm falling in love, headfirst
Uh-oh
Guess I'm done expecting the worst
What can I say?
I love the rush I get everytime
You that I'm yours
And baby, you are mine