This One's To Me

Can't keep dreaming like this
Don't be crazy, Zia
You know better than to
Keep doing this

Can't keep living like this
Don't be insane, Zia
You know better than to
Keep fooling yourself

You know your faults
You know your strengths
You know what you want
Know what you need
But you can never reach it
Why is it always hanging
Over your head?

Can't keep believing like this
Don't be stupid, baby girl
You know better than to
Keep dreaming too hard

You know your faults
You know your strengths
You know what you want
Know what you need
But you can never reach it
Why is it always hanging
Over your head?

'Cuz every night you're
Wishing on a shooting star
And that monlight never
Answers your call
You're singing a song
That nobody knows
But their inferences
Fail them everytime

Don't keep believing
Don't keep dreaming
'Cuz the moonlight never
Answers me

I Hate Formspring

Can't seem to understand
The misconceptions
Nothing you say is right
'Cuz you don't know the
Whole story of me

You're wrong, you're wrong
What you say isn't true
None of it is fact
It's fiction and falsity
You're wrong, you're wrong
Why not ask me the truth?
None of it is real
It's fake and forgotten

Too Much

I feel like the world
Is crashing down on me
Like the wind is ripping
My soul out of my body
Everything and anything
I've known is being re-told
To me as though I've
Been reborn

And I can't breathe
Without the weight
Of long-lost secrecy
I can't think
Without the pain
Of being told too much

Flying High

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

Me, myself, and I
Are walking down this road
Don't know where to turn
Can't see where to go
I'm flying high
On this race with time
Can't find my place
Or a world that's mine

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

There's a different world
That I'm searching for
I'm stuck on Earth
But I'm asking for more
Can't see out of
This open door
'Cuz there's an invisible
Stopping force

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

I'm spinning round
On a wheel of fate
Can't find my heart
I'm so out of place
A spark in the night
It catches my eye
I take a breath
And the world's on fire

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

There's a different world
That I'm searching for
I'm stuck on Earth
But I ask for more
Can't walk out of
This open door
'Cuz there's a
Blocking force

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh
Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

I breathe in deeply
On fire, on fire, on fire
I can't see clearly
All of it is flames

There's a different world
That I'm searching for
I'm stuck on Earth
But I want more
Can't see out of
This open door
'Cuz there's a
Blocking force

I'm screaming out for
A different life
I keep crying and
I'm up all night
Darkness swallows
Up all the light
Can't walk out of
This night, this night, night

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh...

What Do I Say?

What now?
What do I say now?
What now?
What am I supposed to do?
What now?
Why do I feel this way?
What now?
Was it my fault?

Am I not pretty enough?
Do I need a more tortured past?
Am I forgetting something?
What the fuck did I say?
Why am I breaking down?
Did I not cry hard enough?
Am I just too awful?
What do I say now?

Why me?
Why am I so pushy?
Why me?
Why did I try again?
Why me?
How am I supposed to feel?
Why me?
Why is it always my fault?

Am I not pretty enough?
Do I need a more tortured past?
Am I forgetting something?
What the fuck should I say?
Why am I breaking down?
Did I not cry enough?
Am I just too awful?
What do you want me to say?

So I'm a little bit lost
I'm a little bit hurt
I'm a little bit sad
And I can't even say sorry

I'm a little bit sorry
I'm a little bit wrong
I'm a little bit guilty
And I'm just really sorry

Am I not pretty enough?
Do I need a tortured past?
Am I forgetting something?
What the fuck should I say?
Why am I breaking down?
Did I not cry enough?
Am I just too awful?
What do you want me to say?

Why Don't You Listen?

"What did I tell you?"
He asked me
"What did I say?
I told you from
The beginning that
It'd end this way."

"What did I tell you?"
She asked me
"What did I say?
I was right in the
Beginning; I knew it'd
End this way."

Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
I was just trying
Trying to fool my heart
Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
I'm always trying
Trying to fool my heart

"What did I tell you?"
He asked me
"What did I say?
Big brother always
Knows the right way."

"What did I tell you?"
She asked me
"What did I say?
I promise I'll always
Be there to help
You find the way."

Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
Why did I try fooling,
Fooling my heart?
Why didn't I listen?
My head says, "girl, be smart."
But I don't listen to logic
I listened to my heart

"What did I tell you?"
My mind asked me
"Did you hear what I said?
Maybe it wouldn't hurt
So bad if you listened
To your head."

Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
Why did I try fooling,
Fooling my heart?
Why didn't I listen?
The world said, "girl, be smart."
But I don't listen to anyone
I listen to my heart

I Give.

Why is it that every single
Goddamn, mother fucking
Time I get happy and hopeful
Reality kicks the door down
And I see what I've been
Trying to avoid the whole time?

Don't be fucking stupid, Zia
You know your limits
Every single time
You get too happy
The world kicks you in the face
And tells you that you're wrong
Why don't you just accept that
You will never be good enough
For this world
Because no matter how hard you
Try, it's never enough
No matter how broken you get
It's not enough

Why do you even write anymore?
Why can't you play horn well enough?
Why does your voice sound like hell?
Why are you so ugly?
Why is your acne so bad?
Why the fuck can't you lose weight?
Why can't you be in cheerleading?
Why weren't you ever into sports?
Why can't people talk to you anymore?
Why are all of your friends leaving you?
Why have you always been alone?
Why the fuck are you so impulsive?

I'm done. Fuck this.