MK;2010

Today we start
The rough and rugged rehearsals
Three to eight
Day to night

And the silver of my mellophone
Glimmers in the light
I've missed this more than I can say
How you don't even know

The uniform
Starched and clean
I've been waiting for this
It holds its own integrity

The field is calling to me
Astroturf and all
Ready for us
And all of our efforts

We are not what you think we are
We are not just nerds
We are athletes
We are the Marching Knights

You're In Control

Because of you
That bullet rings in my ear
Different in a sense
So innocent in perception
Why am I letting you
Have so much control?

And for the record
You don't understand
How this feels
For the record
I can't remember why
It is this way
For the record
Bach was amazing
And I was too

If

If I can't see it
Then what's the problem?
If I can't do it
Why condemn me for it?

The past is haunting
And ever so captivating
But I long not to see it

If I can't believe it
Why not let it go?
If I can't feel it
Why am I the bad guy?

This story is repetitive
And ever so monotonous
I long for it to end

I'm Such A Band Nerd

I remember lying on my bed
Replaying our conversations
Boy, you sure knew how to
Make me smile

I remember you suddenly, out
Of the blue, pulling down on my shako
And I could've sworn you were gonna
Kiss me

I remember standing at competition
And my worries flooding over me
But you looked at me and said,
"I know you're going to do great".

I know how it changed
I know something happened
I know nothing would've come about

But pull on my shako
One last time
And give me that amazing feeling

Bullet

Every night
The same dream
For nights past

Get out, get out
Of course you're there
Of course

Texting my cell phone
Asking me to get ready
For what?

Going to somewhere nice, yes?
How fun for us
Black dress, white cardi, blue Converse

And I wait
And wait
And wait some more

White, stretch Hummer pulls up
Right in front of my driveway
What is going on?

And there you are
Hair disorderly, black Converse
Red band tee, dark jeans, black jacket

You take my hand
Practically drag me into the vehicle
And we leave

Instantly, your mouth is on mine
Hot and hungry, anxious and intense
Hands through my hair

But then we're there
Drury Lane Theatre
Dinner and a show?

We go in, eat food
Same old, same old
Boring part of the night

You take my hand again
Walk me into the theatre
I swell with joy

Orchestra, joy of joys!
We sit in the front
I see the horns

And the lights dim
The familiar tune
My favourite composer

But I wake up.

All Because of My Bruised Ego

I feel stupid to say it
These words are demons
Tantalizing my opinions
Of you and all around you

And her lyrics play in my head
Why don't you want it
As badly as I do?
Why don't you need it
Like me?

By the Goddess, this hurts
And these words are rebelling
Taunting my thoughts
Of you and all about you

And her lyrics soar in my head
Why don't you need me
As badly as I need you?
Why don't you want it
Like me?

I hold back these tears
And laugh through the pain
I want it
I do, I do

And her lyrics play in my head
Why don't you need it
As I do?
Why don't you want me
Like I want you?

Because in Reality, We Hate Each Other

In all actuality, the word family
Means nothing in this house
We fight
We scream
And I cry

I'm not your daughter
I'm not your child
You're glad that I'm not

I'm not loved by you
You hate me more
You're glad that I cry

I'm a bitch
I'm an asshole
You want me to die

Watch me.