Hello there. Zia here. It's time for my annual recap on the year. Gotta keep my songs straight somehow. ;)
This year proved to be the most challenging one out of all of them. I feel as though I've gone on a journey of self-exploration, and came back thinking, "Wow! Let's go again and see what else I can discover!"
Throughout the relationships, heartbreaks, drama, and disasters, all I could focus on was surviving. But now, a year later, I can look back and think, "Holy shit, that was an amazing year." I've never had such a great, rollercoaster ride kinda year before. And quite honestly, I feel as though I've never been more sure of who I am.
Mello SL.
French hornist.
Author.
Poet.
Lyricist.
Friend.
Lover.
Daughter.
Student.
There are so many things in this world that I can't even begin to imagine. It makes me realize how everything is interconnected, how we all play a part in this crazy play we call life.
This year, I intend on not only defining hurt, but in defining love. In finding Zia. There's something more to this world than what meets my eyes. And regardless of how I get there, I will make this year one to be remembered.
Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like you're less than, less than perfect."
Get out there. Define hurt.
<3 Zia
Friday, October 21, 2011
Suspended Song
Lost again
Lost again
Singing a song
That I should've long
Forgotten
That I had forgotten
That I never should
Ask for
Again
But, oh, I'm singing
I have the chords memorized
Every touch is my melody
And passionate kisses, the rhythm
Your eyes are the harmony
And our love, a suspension
Can't find a way
Back into
What we had
So long ago
My way is blocked
And I'm trapped
In a world
Empty of the
Sweetest sound
That I will never
Hear again
Oh, I'm singing
I have the chords memorized
Every touch is my melody
And passionate kisses, the rhythm
Your eyes are the harmony
And our love, a suspension
Lost again
Singing a song
That I should've long
Forgotten
That I had forgotten
That I never should
Ask for
Again
But, oh, I'm singing
I have the chords memorized
Every touch is my melody
And passionate kisses, the rhythm
Your eyes are the harmony
And our love, a suspension
Can't find a way
Back into
What we had
So long ago
My way is blocked
And I'm trapped
In a world
Empty of the
Sweetest sound
That I will never
Hear again
Oh, I'm singing
I have the chords memorized
Every touch is my melody
And passionate kisses, the rhythm
Your eyes are the harmony
And our love, a suspension
Riverbend
Find it on the edge
Of what should have been
Something, anything
Other than this rushing
River of torment
And watch me
Cast it to the ripples
And walk away
As it is carried
Onto what I hope
Will never again
Be a riverbend
Of my emotions
Of what should have been
Something, anything
Other than this rushing
River of torment
And watch me
Cast it to the ripples
And walk away
As it is carried
Onto what I hope
Will never again
Be a riverbend
Of my emotions
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Edge of Control
---- 6-5-11
Comfortable silence
Oh, the things I never
Said, I never said are
Running back and forth
Through my head, oh whoa
Long moments wasted
Oh, the minutes dropping
Down like grains of sand
Breaking out from all
Of my plans
Out of my hands
Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything gone
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke
Down and lost your mind?
Or this just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all to
The edge of control
Forgotten places
Oh, the memories I
Tried to leave alone
Are aiming to take
Over, oh whoa
Second forever
Oh, the silver medal
Never takes the gold
And you cry out
From your soul
Out from your soul
Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything's gone
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke
Down and lost your mind?
Or she just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all
To the edge of control
Everything, everything
That you said to me
And everything shattered
All that I could believe
What more do you want,
Do you want from me?
It's out of my hands
Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything gone,
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke down
And lost your mind?
Or is this just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all
To the edge of control
Comfortable silence
Oh, the things I never
Said, I never said are
Running back and forth
Through my head, oh whoa
Long moments wasted
Oh, the minutes dropping
Down like grains of sand
Breaking out from all
Of my plans
Out of my hands
Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything gone
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke
Down and lost your mind?
Or this just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all to
The edge of control
Forgotten places
Oh, the memories I
Tried to leave alone
Are aiming to take
Over, oh whoa
Second forever
Oh, the silver medal
Never takes the gold
And you cry out
From your soul
Out from your soul
Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything's gone
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke
Down and lost your mind?
Or she just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all
To the edge of control
Everything, everything
That you said to me
And everything shattered
All that I could believe
What more do you want,
Do you want from me?
It's out of my hands
Everything you said
Lying in front of me
And everything gone,
All the things I believed
What more can you ask,
Can you take from me
When you're in control?
Have you finally broke down
And lost your mind?
Or is this just everything
You wanted to find?
Can't you see every cruel
Thing you've done to me?
I've lost it all
To the edge of control
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Dear Future Self
Dear Zia,
I'm very proud of you.
You made it inot UCLA, or DePaul, or Wesleyan, right?
And you became a physically fit person?
I hope the mello freshie respected you.
And I really hope you made ISU.
I know how hard you worked to get there.
How are your horn chops?
I remember how difficult it was to gain lip endurance, but I know you worked really hard for it.
And you better gave made high honor roll your senior year.
I know you wanted it, Zi.
Don't forget those people who helped you out along the way, okay?
Madeline
Autumn
Anna
Andrea
Kathy
Cara
Grant
Kevin
Katie
Dee
Jenny
Holly
Jack
All of those exes
Well, you have a few now, right?
These people made you who you are.
Especially your mom. Don't forget her. She will always be your best friend.
And don't let a boy break you.
Make me proud, babygirl.
I love you!
With much pride,
Zia Sampson
I'm very proud of you.
You made it inot UCLA, or DePaul, or Wesleyan, right?
And you became a physically fit person?
I hope the mello freshie respected you.
And I really hope you made ISU.
I know how hard you worked to get there.
How are your horn chops?
I remember how difficult it was to gain lip endurance, but I know you worked really hard for it.
And you better gave made high honor roll your senior year.
I know you wanted it, Zi.
Don't forget those people who helped you out along the way, okay?
Madeline
Autumn
Anna
Andrea
Kathy
Cara
Grant
Kevin
Katie
Dee
Jenny
Holly
Jack
All of those exes
Well, you have a few now, right?
These people made you who you are.
Especially your mom. Don't forget her. She will always be your best friend.
And don't let a boy break you.
Make me proud, babygirl.
I love you!
With much pride,
Zia Sampson
Never Need You Again
Broken down by you
Picked up by you
And broken down once more
And yet I'm standing here today
Saying I'm better off without you
I guess I should also say
I'm damn proud of who I've become
I'm working to make high honor roll
I'm a first chair musician as a sophomore
I'm a section leader
I workout not because I'm obligated
But because it makes me happy
I'm starting to believe in my own beauty
I have friends and now know who to trust
The ones I've fought with
The ones who I left
The ones who are back
I have people here to lift me up
I have people who call me attractive
Who want me
People who aren't afraid to say it
Yeah, you broke me
But the girl you left
Isn't who she was
You made me so much stronger
And I will never need
A boy again
Picked up by you
And broken down once more
And yet I'm standing here today
Saying I'm better off without you
I guess I should also say
I'm damn proud of who I've become
I'm working to make high honor roll
I'm a first chair musician as a sophomore
I'm a section leader
I workout not because I'm obligated
But because it makes me happy
I'm starting to believe in my own beauty
I have friends and now know who to trust
The ones I've fought with
The ones who I left
The ones who are back
I have people here to lift me up
I have people who call me attractive
Who want me
People who aren't afraid to say it
Yeah, you broke me
But the girl you left
Isn't who she was
You made me so much stronger
And I will never need
A boy again
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Dreamer's Lullaby
Chapter 1, Part 2:
Alex looked into grey eyes. They alnmost mirrored his own, but they were always darker. Always deeper.
It had occured to him that Abrielle was like the weather. Some days, calm and more beautiful than the cloudless sky. Others, more violent than a raging hurricane. Needless to say, he had seen her like a thunderstorm on most occassions.
"Abrielle, you know I trust you," he quietly said, trying to soothe her. "I'm just lost without my Maria."
She sighed. Her expression shifted from irritation to calm in an instant.
"Alex, she is gone. She will never be the same girl you knew. Can't you see that? Once you join Darien, you don't come back!"
The last phrase was a whisper, mostly furious, but with a hint of remorse. The air around them grew icy cold when Darien's name was spoken. The whooshing of the trees startled Alex, and he found himself drawing closer to Abrielle unintentionally.
"Abrielle," he whispered. "Abrielle, I don't like this." There was a hint of panic in his voice.
Her eyes were darker than ever. "Lilai!" she called.
All movement stopped in the forest. Not another sound was heard.
Alex looked into grey eyes. They alnmost mirrored his own, but they were always darker. Always deeper.
It had occured to him that Abrielle was like the weather. Some days, calm and more beautiful than the cloudless sky. Others, more violent than a raging hurricane. Needless to say, he had seen her like a thunderstorm on most occassions.
"Abrielle, you know I trust you," he quietly said, trying to soothe her. "I'm just lost without my Maria."
She sighed. Her expression shifted from irritation to calm in an instant.
"Alex, she is gone. She will never be the same girl you knew. Can't you see that? Once you join Darien, you don't come back!"
The last phrase was a whisper, mostly furious, but with a hint of remorse. The air around them grew icy cold when Darien's name was spoken. The whooshing of the trees startled Alex, and he found himself drawing closer to Abrielle unintentionally.
"Abrielle," he whispered. "Abrielle, I don't like this." There was a hint of panic in his voice.
Her eyes were darker than ever. "Lilai!" she called.
All movement stopped in the forest. Not another sound was heard.
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