Look me in the eyes and judge me
Because he tells me that he loves me
I'm sorry that it makes me happy
And captures me because I'm sappy
Tell me that you think I'm crazy
Because I blush when he calls me 'baby'
I'm sorry that he drives me mad
And is the best thing I can't have
Understand me and my ways
The way I've missed his warmth for days
I'm sorry that I want him with me
Even though we cannot be
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
The Overview
Hey, all. It's Zia here. Just thought I'd give my evaluation of the last year.
And I'm not going to lie, it has been rough.
I'm in my senior year of high school. That in itself is crazy. I am a section leader, a soloist, and example in the marching band. I am the Tri-M president of my school. And yet, something is still missing. I feel I have been missing my purpose, straying from my path. My work comes slowly lately. And I feel alone. Ripped apart, and ever so lonely for romantic companionship.
I miss him. I miss him more than he knows.
Other than the loneliness, I have been good. Alive. Well. Happy.
Let us define hurt and defy it for another year, shall we?
Friday, August 17, 2012
Then And Now
You terrify me
With those eyes that linger over mine
A gaze that captivates and enthralls me
Intensity in a moment
And silence surrounding us
You enthrall me
With a smile that lights up a room
A gentle laugh that I ease into
Warmth in your mannerisms
And laughter between us
You destroy me
With a memory of broken trust
A fairytale destroyed by us two
Ignorance in our youth
And a love forgotten long ago
With those eyes that linger over mine
A gaze that captivates and enthralls me
Intensity in a moment
And silence surrounding us
You enthrall me
With a smile that lights up a room
A gentle laugh that I ease into
Warmth in your mannerisms
And laughter between us
You destroy me
With a memory of broken trust
A fairytale destroyed by us two
Ignorance in our youth
And a love forgotten long ago
Monday, May 14, 2012
Let Down
Dear Teacher,
I could have been studying French horn over the summer.
But I'm not.
I could be taking college courses with a horn professor before senior year so I'd be prepared for my major.
But I'm not.
I gave it all up for this band.
And you've let me down once more.
I've given up all hope of being a leader for this band.
Thank you for letting me down again.
-Kizzie
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Lie To Me
Anything you could've said
Any lie you could've made for me
Why didn't you do it?
Why not keep up the charade?
Anything you could've said
Than what you said to me
Why didn't you say it?
Why not give me something to believe?
It's just as hard
As you make it seem
To say goodbye
To a memory
Of what we had
What we used to be
Why didn't you
Lie to me?
Couldn't love me anyway
Couldn't stand who you thought I was
Why did you keep pretending?
Why not say it from the start?
Couldn't keep me anyway
From the start, everything was lies
Why did you have to stop it?
Why couldn't you let me believe?
It's just as hard
As you make it seem
To say goodbye
To a memory
Of what we had
What we used to be
Why didn't you
Lie to me?
The way you did at first
Every time you said you loved me
You made it worse
When you said it was never true
The way you used to look
Like it mattered when I broke down
Into tears
'Cuz losing you was my greatest fear
It's just as hard
As you make it seem
To say goodbye
To a memory
Of what we had
What we used to be
Why didn't you
Lie to me?
Any lie you could've made for me
Why didn't you do it?
Why not keep up the charade?
Anything you could've said
Than what you said to me
Why didn't you say it?
Why not give me something to believe?
It's just as hard
As you make it seem
To say goodbye
To a memory
Of what we had
What we used to be
Why didn't you
Lie to me?
Couldn't love me anyway
Couldn't stand who you thought I was
Why did you keep pretending?
Why not say it from the start?
Couldn't keep me anyway
From the start, everything was lies
Why did you have to stop it?
Why couldn't you let me believe?
It's just as hard
As you make it seem
To say goodbye
To a memory
Of what we had
What we used to be
Why didn't you
Lie to me?
The way you did at first
Every time you said you loved me
You made it worse
When you said it was never true
The way you used to look
Like it mattered when I broke down
Into tears
'Cuz losing you was my greatest fear
It's just as hard
As you make it seem
To say goodbye
To a memory
Of what we had
What we used to be
Why didn't you
Lie to me?
Monday, March 26, 2012
Meet Me
Alrighty, bloggers and all. I've decided that I'm going to make myself pretty damn happy and confident. I can't take being so down on myself anymore, and the only way I'm going to feel better is if I focus on myself. I'm creating a list of things I love about me. Fuck the bad stuff. I can always improve my flaws, but my good traits are here to stay. Let the listing begin!
1. I'm a writer.
2. I'm the best French horn player in the district. And have been.
3. I have some very good friends.
4. My eyes a pretty shade of red-brown.
5. I have DDs.
6. My legs are really muscular; runner's legs.
7. I'm compassionate.
8. I have a fairly decent French accent.
9. I'm smart.
10. I can sing fairly well.
11. I'm a fun person to hang out with.
12. Nice nose.
13. Not super skinny, but not extremely overweight.
14. Trumpet player.
15. Mellophone section leader.
16. I can kind of play guitar, piano, clarinet, and alto sax.
17. I've never done drugs.
18. Not a smoker.
19. Not really a drinker.
20. Extremely empathetic.
21. Tend to look on the bright side, regardless of how many times this world or people in it screw me over.
22. I believe in love.
23. Easy to talk to.
24. Good at badminton.
25. Competitive.
26. Determined to make something out of myself.
27. I forgive very, very easily.
28. I always try to maintain friends.
29. I can listen to almost any kind of music and be entertained.
30. Love to read.
31. Polite.
32. Believes in a higher power.
33. Able to be different without crushing others' ideas.
34. Tries not to judge.
35. Doesn't hold grudges.
36. Gets along with people easily.
37. Impossibles are never impossible.
38. A pure dreamer.
39. Easily broken, but always recovers.
40. Beautiful.
1. I'm a writer.
2. I'm the best French horn player in the district. And have been.
3. I have some very good friends.
4. My eyes a pretty shade of red-brown.
5. I have DDs.
6. My legs are really muscular; runner's legs.
7. I'm compassionate.
8. I have a fairly decent French accent.
9. I'm smart.
10. I can sing fairly well.
11. I'm a fun person to hang out with.
12. Nice nose.
13. Not super skinny, but not extremely overweight.
14. Trumpet player.
15. Mellophone section leader.
16. I can kind of play guitar, piano, clarinet, and alto sax.
17. I've never done drugs.
18. Not a smoker.
19. Not really a drinker.
20. Extremely empathetic.
21. Tend to look on the bright side, regardless of how many times this world or people in it screw me over.
22. I believe in love.
23. Easy to talk to.
24. Good at badminton.
25. Competitive.
26. Determined to make something out of myself.
27. I forgive very, very easily.
28. I always try to maintain friends.
29. I can listen to almost any kind of music and be entertained.
30. Love to read.
31. Polite.
32. Believes in a higher power.
33. Able to be different without crushing others' ideas.
34. Tries not to judge.
35. Doesn't hold grudges.
36. Gets along with people easily.
37. Impossibles are never impossible.
38. A pure dreamer.
39. Easily broken, but always recovers.
40. Beautiful.
Fly Away
Author's Note: This one is written for a good friend of mine, as well as for myself. I honestly love this one. c:
3-23-12
-------xx
Pretty baby
Why'd you let yourself
Do this again?
You can't ever see
What's right in front of you
Pretty baby
You won't ever fly
If you clip your wings
Let me try to save you
You've got one shot
So make it
You've got one chance
So take it
Don't let this keep you down
Fly away!
Pretty baby
That big ol' storm cloud
Won't always be there
It can only rain
For so long
Pretty baby
You've got so much
Raw potential
If you open your eyes
You'll see it inside
You've got one shot
So make it
You've got one chance
So take it
I'll be here to catch you
When you fall
But the only way you'll win
Is if you risk it all
You've got one life
So live it
You've got all this love
So give it
Don't let this keep you down
Fly away!
When you feel you're
Holding on to nothing
I promisek, I can
Be your something
There's so much we
Have left to do
I swear that we can
Make it through
You've got one shot
So make it
You've got one chance
So take it
I'll be here to catch you
When you fall
But the only way we'll win
Is if we risk it all
You've got one life
So live it
You've got all this love
So give it
I'll help you get off the ground
And fly away!
3-23-12
-------xx
Pretty baby
Why'd you let yourself
Do this again?
You can't ever see
What's right in front of you
Pretty baby
You won't ever fly
If you clip your wings
Let me try to save you
You've got one shot
So make it
You've got one chance
So take it
Don't let this keep you down
Fly away!
Pretty baby
That big ol' storm cloud
Won't always be there
It can only rain
For so long
Pretty baby
You've got so much
Raw potential
If you open your eyes
You'll see it inside
You've got one shot
So make it
You've got one chance
So take it
I'll be here to catch you
When you fall
But the only way you'll win
Is if you risk it all
You've got one life
So live it
You've got all this love
So give it
Don't let this keep you down
Fly away!
When you feel you're
Holding on to nothing
I promisek, I can
Be your something
There's so much we
Have left to do
I swear that we can
Make it through
You've got one shot
So make it
You've got one chance
So take it
I'll be here to catch you
When you fall
But the only way we'll win
Is if we risk it all
You've got one life
So live it
You've got all this love
So give it
I'll help you get off the ground
And fly away!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
