Neither

I could scream it one thousand times
I could whisper it in your ears
But it never would reach you

You block out my incessant needs
With false promises and neglect
Pretending that I am not here crying
That my words are not coherent
My dreams are lackluster and irrelevant

There's more to me than you know
You preach of your love, but don't show it
And expect me to respond on a whim
As though you are all I'll ever need
But I don't need you
I swear, I do not

There's a difference between necessity and longing
And now, I have neither

Preparations

6-16-13

No one could've prepared me for this
No amount of warning would've kept me on my feet
After you swept me off of them so easily
I wasn't ready at all
But that's the best part of this, isn't it?

The best part of falling in love is the magic
The mystery, the rush of the senses
The incessant laughter, the lack of restraint
The sweet taste of your lips, the warmth of a smile
There isn't a way to a single out your perfections
All of them end in the same result
With me falling ever more in love with you

It isn't easy to write this out
Every insecurity I have, I've bared to you
In hopes that you'll look through them
Like a streak-free sheet of glass
And take this heart of mine into your hands
To keep and hold for as long as you'll have me

I couldn't say it enough to you
How much I need you here with me
That perfect smile, that laugh that picks me up
When this dismal world is crashing down around us
The person I fall more in love with every day
The man I could love for forever, if you'd let me

No amount of preparation could've saved me from this fall
No amount of precaution could've stopped me from myself
Because I know I can be uncontrollable
I didn't even see this coming
But that made it the sweetest surprise, didn't it?

To Know

No one said this would be easy
No one told me it would change
Everything you do, it drives me crazy
Even though not always the same way

I didn't think I'd fall into this
Like the way the Earth pulls at the moon
I don't know how long I'll get through this
But right now, I'm begging for me and you

I've given my senses
A little time to breathe
And everything you do to me
Just brings them back to screams
And I don't want to leave you
And I don't want you to go
But where are you when I need you?
There's a hurt you need to know
A love I want to grow
Tell me, am I supposed to go?
A hurt you need to know

You and I go wild
Like the stars drive us insane
But I break down like a child
When our love is lost to fate

The ground beneath is shaking
Balance lost by restless hands
I try to act like things aren't breaking
But everything has its own plan

I've given my senses
A little time to breathe
And everything you do to me
Just brings them back to screams
And I don't want to leave you
And I don't want to go
But where are you when I need you?
There's a hurt you need to know
Do you just want me to go?
I thought this love was gonna grow
It's a hurt you need to know

It drives me to tears how you
Break down my fears with your
Love but it isn't so picture perfect
But I know I'm worth it

I've given my senses
A little time to breathe
And everything you do to me
Just brings them back to screams
And I don't want to leave you
And I don't want you to go
But where are you when I need you?
There's a hurt you need to know
A love I want to show to the world
There's a hurt you need to know
But baby, I'll show you, show you
Don't you want this love to grow?

Untapped Potential

Untapped potential
Like a wishing well, unused
So many credentials
To reach the stars and more
The best of the worst
The sweetest kind of sour
That I could possibly devour

The taste of you settles in my mouth
The hot rush of breath sends a shiver
Down to my toes
Up again
Up and down
Up and down
God, I could die from wanting
Is this how it was supposed to feel?

I've never felt it
This rush
It's so overwhelming
Powerful
The madness fills my mind
I want you, I want all of you
And I want you now

Untapped potential
Like a wishing well, unused
So many credentials
To reach the moon and back

Is it wrong to feel scared?
I know how much this can hurt
Will you?
I know you're capable
But Goddess, I hope you don't

How did this happen so fast?
Why are you filling my thoughts with
Hopes for a future?
Do I do the same to you?
Will I ever?

Anticipation

--- 11-26-12

Nervous twittering
Butterflies flittering
How do I keep
My head on straight?

Anticipation
My nerves' central station
I can no longer
Just eagerly wait

My legs are shaking
The cool front is breaking
I'm not acting myself
As of late

Going so crazy
Vision gone hazy
With the thought of
A world we could create

Double Take

--- 11-26-12

Take a peek at
My heart
And where he ripped it
Apart

The memory lingers inside of me
I was crying, heart in hiding
Why'd you lie to me?

He's my favorite
Mistake
An angel masked by
The hate

How could you do what you did to me?
You were perfect, I'm not worth it
I will never be!

Look at me now
I can't pretend it doesn't eat me alive
Look at us now
Now we're so distant, it's a dream
It's a crime
What happened, how?
The world we knew, you spun its axis around!
Look at you now
Don't you see it? Look at you now!

You're a fake, a ridiculous deity!
I can't wait until the day
You leave my memories!

Superman

--- 11-20-12

Superman, come rescue me
A hero, just the thing I need
The villains hurt and capture me
If you help, I know they'll leave

Superman, I need you here
Your mantra, stating, "Never fear!"
Behind the cape, I see you clear
A man I know I could hold dear

Superman, come save the day
Everyone else can go away
Just let me be your Lois Lane
Fly to me, and please just stay