Alter Ego

Do you really wanna know?
Well, then I can't wait to show you, baby
I guess that you could say
I have an alter ego

Inside I'm locked up in a shell
Waiting to get through this hell that I'm in
I guess you'd say I'm doing well
But I'm not

So here it is
What are you waiting for?

What do you want me to say?
I am not okay and I'm done
Making promises that I can't keep
And striving for the moon,
But I can't reach
What else can I do?
Follow every single rule?
I'm tired of the same old plot
I may look happy, but I'm not
What do you want me to say?

Can you see how I play
This little game you're falling for?
Sometimes I even think my
Name is a lie

'Cuz the real me isn't here
I'm not as strong as you believe, my dear
I'm really scared of my
Hundreds of fears

So here it is
No more make-believe

What do you want me to say?
I'm not okay and I'm done
Making promises that I can't keep
And reaching for the moon
Before I fall asleep
What else can I do?
Follow every single rule?
I'm tired of the same old plot
I may look happy, but I'm not
What do you want me to say?

Do you really wanna know?
Well, then I can't wait to show you, baby
I guess that you could say
I have an alter ego

I guess that you could say
I have an alter ego

What do you want me to say?
I'm not okay and I'm done
Making promises that I can't keep
And dreaming the unreal before
I fall asleep
What else can I do?
Follow every single rule?
I'm tired of the same old plot
I may look happy but I'm not
What do you want me to say?

Crashing Down On Me

What are you doing
Sitting in that chair?
What are you doing
With that blonde in your hair?
What are you doing
Crushing on that boy?
What are you doing?
Is this all a ploy?

I say time to move on

You're not worth it
You'll never be perfect
Everything you've worked for
Is crashing down
You've gotta be kidding
No way you'll be winning
You're living a lie
Trying to hide
Living a lie
Can't decide

What are you doing
Editting those pics?
What are you doing
Chasing guys who act like dicks?
What are you doing
Pretending to be strong?
What are you doing?
Don't you know you're wrong?

I say, I say, move on

You're not worth it
You'll never be perfect
Everything you've worked for
Is crashing down
You've gotta be kidding
No way you'll be winning
You're living a lie
Trying to hide
Living a lie
Can't decide

What are you doing
Playing that part?
What are you doing
As they're breaking your heart?

You're not worth it
You'll never be perfect
Everything you've worked for
Is crashing down
You've gotta be kidding
No way you'll be winning
You're living a lie
Trying to hide
Living a lie
Can't decide

Tinfoil Is Worth More Than Gold To Me

It was a burst
Of confidence
I asked the question
And you smiled the
Way I knew you would

So why do I want
What I can't have?
I got my knight
In shining armor
What do I want?

I finally found the one
Who'll treat me like a princess
So why do I want
An asshole in tinfoil?
He broke me down
And fooled around
But he's everything
I've needed and more
So why isn't he at my door?

It was a small smile
Playing on my lips
Tapping rhythms with my
Fingertips
We could be happy

You treat me like
I matter but I
Don't feel that rush
And he knows how
To turn me on

I finally found the one
Who'll treat me like a princess
So why do I want
The asshole in tinfoil?
He broke me down
And fooled around
But he's everything
I've needed and more
Why isn't he at my door?

I wanna fall in love
And I want him to be mine
I can't believe how they
Both messed up my mind

I just can't decide how
Far I'm willing to go
For the one I'm with
And the one I want to know

I finally found the one
Who'll treat me like a princess
So why do I still want
The asshole in tinfoil?
He broke me down
And fooled around
You won't let me down
Or break me down
Both everything I need and more
Only one is at my door

Author's Note: Tinfoil is no longer more worthy. Just saying. XD

Can't Tell

I don't know what
You see in me and
I don't care if you're
Texting me
But I can't deal
With being led on

I can't tell if
You're really there
And I don't know
If you're playing fair
What's the deal
With you?

One minute you're hitting on me
The next second, we're both screaming
I can't say that I don't love
Being on your mind but
I don't think I can take it
When you leave me behind
One day, we're like best friends
Next day, we're at a dead end
I love it when you act
As if you care
But I can't tell
If you're really there

I don't think of
Anyone else
Because you're
Always on my mind
I wonder if
It's reciprocated

I can't see what you want

One minute, you're hitting on me
The next second, we're both screaming
I can't say I don't love
Being on your mind
But I can't be there to take it
When I'm left behind
One day, we're like best friends
Next day, we're at a dead end
I love it when you act
As if you care
But I don't know
If you're really there

One more night, one more night
I can see it like it's real
But, but; but, but
I can't see what you want

One minute, you're hitting on me
Next second, we're both screaming
I can't say I don't love
Being on your mind
But I can't handle
Being left behind
One day, we're like best friends
The next day, we're at a dead end
I love it when you act
As if you care
But I can't see if
You're really there

Author's Note: Written a while ago. Like. A month. XD

What Did You See?

It's getting late
I'm sitting here
Wondering why the fuck
I did it again
I'm sick of this
I've had enough
I'm tired of the games

So let's see it
Tell me what did you mean
I swear to Goddess
I'm not what I seem

I started out just a little
Bit happier than usual
But you brought me down
Go figure, no wonder I'm
Falling apart, and you
Wonder why I hate myself
Funny how one word
Was all that it took
To kick me down to the ground
And I'm really getting sick
Of this game you're playing
So count me out

It's getting cold
I'm spacing out
Thinkin' 'bout why I
Feel more alone
I'm feeling bad
I wanna go
To a place just
To be on my own

Let's see it, tell me
What do you mean?
I'm not who you see

I started out just a little
Bit happier than usual
But you brought me down
Go figure, no wonder I'm
Falling apart and you wonder
Why I hate myself
Funny how one word was all
That it took to kick me down
To the ground and I'm really
Getting sick of this game you're playing
So count me out

I'm done shooting for the moon
'Cuz when I miss, I'm not in the stars

I started out just a little bit
Happier than usual
But you brought me down
Go figure, no wonder I'm
Falling apart and you
Wonder why I hate myself
Funny how one word was all
That it took to kick me down
To the ground and I'm really
Getting sick of this game
So count me out

A Whole Different Breed

What did I do?
Where my pa-pizzazz go?
I guess I left it back
On the court
I'm taking a dive into
The deep end of this
Ocean of hope
And forgetting my mask
On the dock

Let's go out for the night
And give the whole world
Something to think about

You and me, baby, we could be
A whole different breed
Of beautiful endings
So give it a shot
While we have the time
Otherwise I'll be gone
In the blink of an eye
We either do or do not
Why not give me a try?

What about now?
What isn't so special about me?
I could've sworn that you
Were interested
I'm flying up high
Laughing in a sea of stars
They remind me of your eyes

So why don't we go out tonight
And give the world something to dream of?

You and me, baby, we could be
A whole different breed
Of beautiful endings
Give it a shot
While we have the time
Or I'll be gone in
The blink of an eye
Do or do not but why not
Give me a try?

How was I supposed to know
That I'd lose all my self-control
When it's you who is involved
This riddle can't be solved
Why can't I be yours?

You and me, baby, we could be
A whole different breed
Of beautiful endings
Give it a shot
While we still have time
Or I'll be gone in
The blink of an eye
Do or do not, but why not
Give me a try?

Pissed Off

Itching at my skin
Gnawing at my bones
Tearing at my flesh

By the Mother!
It's ridiculous
Irritation is here
Every day
Again and again

Thunder Strikes The Ground

Oh, oh..

One more night
At home by firelight
Outside the rain is pouring
One more night
And writing by moonlight
The thunder strikes the ground

Here tonight, the stars aren't shining
Here, the light goes out

One more sunrise
Lifts to meet my eyes
Outside the dawn is breaking
One more sunrise
Met with weary sighs
The blue sky meets the sunrays

Here today, the future's dawning
Here the past goes numb

Here tonight, the stars aren't shining
Here the light goes out
(Here today, the future's dawning
Here the past goes numb)

I can feel, I can feel
I can feel the power
I can see, I can see
I can see the day
I can feel, I can feel
I can feel the night sky
In the depth of my heart

One more night
At home at midnight
Outsude those clouds are fading
One more night
When stars stop shining bright
The rain falls to the ground

One more sunrise
Fills those darkened eyes
Promises for aforever
One more sunrise
Not to be despised
The sky fades to black

Here tonight, the stars aren't shining
Here the lights go out
(Here today, the future's dawning
Here the past is numb)

I can feel, I can feel
I can feel the power
I can see, I can see
I can see the day
I can feel, I can feel
I can feel the night sky
It is in me

Here tonight, the stars aren't shining
Here, the lights go out...

I Guess I'm Sorry. But To Who?

Can't say sorry this time
Can't learn when to suck it up
I didn't mean it, I really didn't

I'm just an insecure little girl
Putting on a really good charade
And obviously you can't see through it

I don't know what you want anymore
Hell, I don't know what I want, either
But I think I finally get it

You never wanted to know me
You never wanted that pretty girl
You never wanted to jump off the edge

I don't know who to feel sorry for
You or me

Planetary Companionship

Oh, oh... Oh, oh...

I am alone in this dream
It's impossible to see
The other side
I'm unsure of this universe

Lead me to another planet
'Cuz here I am alone

Someone once told me
We weren't the only
Things in this galaxy
Or universe
I believe in magic
And different worlds
I follow the patterns
Of the stars

I am watching every shooting star
Don't forget to look up to the stars

I am alone on this earth
I cannot follow this
Hallucination
Or is it reality?

Take me to the moonrise
So I don't feel alone

Someone once told me
We weren't the only
Things in this galaxy
Or universe
I believe in magic
And different worlds
I follow the patterns
Of the sky

I will watch the clouds from the ground
And the rain will fall into my hands

Someone once told me
We weren't the only
Things in this galaxy
Or universe
Sometimes I feel like
I am the only
Thing on this planet
Thing on this earth

Take me to the moonrise
Or else I'll be alone

I follow the patterns of the stars
I am watching every shooting star
I will wish on every shooting star

Author's Note: This one ALSO has a crapload of interpretations. XD I wrote it to be mildly cynical and mildly calming. Take your pick.

Welcome to Reality

She lived in a fantasy and
Her mind was pure with falsities and
No one could take it from her

'Til one day life took her on a
Fast ride with lotf of loops and turns
She got off and she was anew

Ready, set, go
Welcome to the picture show
Alone, you're staring at a black screen
Hello and welcome to reality
Don't you know this is how it is?

She moved to a different town and
She doesn't see the rainbows, oh, how
Come her vision was taken away?

It started with a single word
And then life just became absurd
How come her eyes are going blank?

Ready, set, go
Welcome to the picture show
Alone, you're staring at a black screen
Hello and welcome to reality
Don't you know this is how it is

She's staring at a black screen
One day, just another dream
What does she say to opening her eyes?

Ready, set, go
Welcome to the picture show
Alone, she's staring at a movie screen
Hello and welcome to the past
Don't you know this is what we were?

Author's Note: This oe can be interpreted in SOO many different ways. It's crazy. Ask for my opinion, if you want. I'm always up for a poetry chat. :P

Nursery Rhymes

Ashes, ashes
We all fall down

I spy with my little eye
The clouds over this starry sky
What I spy is all around
This world is crashing down on me

Maybe we'll play hide-and-seek
Together here in this forever
I will hide and you will find and
We'll fall down to

Up and down, spinnin' round and round
Ring around the rosie
Can't deny what I feel inside
Pocket full of posie
Drowning now, sinking underground
Ring around the rosie
Fading deep into dreamless sleep
Pcket full of posie

(Ashes, ashes)
We all fall down

I spy with my little eye
A deeper meaning to the lies
What I spy is wrapped with fate
And the forces of love and hate

We can dress like we're in fairytales
A game of make-believe with only
One way to escape the tower
So we fall down

Up and down, spinnin' round and round
Ring around the rosie
Can't deny what I feel inside
Pocket full of posie
Drowning now, sinking underground
Ring around the rosie
Fading deep into dreamless sleep
Pocket full of posie
(Ashes, ashes)

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
Don't they wonder what you are
You're so high above the world
A diamond that see life unfurl

(Ashes, ashes)
We fall down

Up and down, spinnin' round and round
Ring around the rosie
Can't deny what I feel inside
Pocket full of posie
Drowning now, sinking underground
Ring around the rosie
Fading deep into dreamless sleep
Pocket full of posie

(Ashes, ashes xwhatever)

Ashes... ashes
We all fall down...

Author's Note: I was in a mildly cynical and pessimistic mood today. So. Interpret as you wish. <3

Out Of My Mind

What is up with me?
You know you're gonna
Get hurt
You know he's too good
One day can't change that,
Can it?

What's up with me?
I know he's too fantastic
I know I'll end up crying
One question can't change that,
Can it?

You're out of your mind
If you think he'd even
Look your way
This time I know that
It's not an option
I could give him every
Single hint and everytime
I'd get turned down
But why?
Why'd he ask the question?
Oh, why
Did it even become a dream?
I can't believe

What's up with me?
I fell into this game
I don't know the rules
I can't learn them now,
Can I?

What's up with me?
I'm staring into space
And I'm drifting
I can't be brought down,
Can I?

You're out of your mind
If you think he'd even
Look your way
This time I know that
It's not an option
I could give him every
Single hint and everytime
I'd get turned down
But why?
Why'd he ask the question?
Oh, why
Did it even become a dream?
I can't believe

One more time
I'm sitting here
Pretending that it's fine
Oh, yeah
Everything is okay
One more time
I'm here
And I can't lie
It's not okay

I'm out of mind
For thinking he'd be interested
This time I'm gonna
Give it up, give it up

You're out of your mind
If you think he'd even
Look your way
This time I know that
It's not an option
I could give him every
Single hint and everytime
I'd get turned down
But why?
Why'd he ask the question?
Oh, why?
Did it become a dream?
I can't... believe

Author's Note: OHMYGOD!!! I duno why my choruses keep getting longer. I swear, on the original copy of this, the title was "Why Do My Choruses Keep Getting Longer?" So yeah. Pardon the lengthiness. :P

This One's To Me

Can't keep dreaming like this
Don't be crazy, Zia
You know better than to
Keep doing this

Can't keep living like this
Don't be insane, Zia
You know better than to
Keep fooling yourself

You know your faults
You know your strengths
You know what you want
Know what you need
But you can never reach it
Why is it always hanging
Over your head?

Can't keep believing like this
Don't be stupid, baby girl
You know better than to
Keep dreaming too hard

You know your faults
You know your strengths
You know what you want
Know what you need
But you can never reach it
Why is it always hanging
Over your head?

'Cuz every night you're
Wishing on a shooting star
And that monlight never
Answers your call
You're singing a song
That nobody knows
But their inferences
Fail them everytime

Don't keep believing
Don't keep dreaming
'Cuz the moonlight never
Answers me

I Hate Formspring

Can't seem to understand
The misconceptions
Nothing you say is right
'Cuz you don't know the
Whole story of me

You're wrong, you're wrong
What you say isn't true
None of it is fact
It's fiction and falsity
You're wrong, you're wrong
Why not ask me the truth?
None of it is real
It's fake and forgotten

Too Much

I feel like the world
Is crashing down on me
Like the wind is ripping
My soul out of my body
Everything and anything
I've known is being re-told
To me as though I've
Been reborn

And I can't breathe
Without the weight
Of long-lost secrecy
I can't think
Without the pain
Of being told too much

Flying High

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

Me, myself, and I
Are walking down this road
Don't know where to turn
Can't see where to go
I'm flying high
On this race with time
Can't find my place
Or a world that's mine

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

There's a different world
That I'm searching for
I'm stuck on Earth
But I'm asking for more
Can't see out of
This open door
'Cuz there's an invisible
Stopping force

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

I'm spinning round
On a wheel of fate
Can't find my heart
I'm so out of place
A spark in the night
It catches my eye
I take a breath
And the world's on fire

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

There's a different world
That I'm searching for
I'm stuck on Earth
But I ask for more
Can't walk out of
This open door
'Cuz there's a
Blocking force

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh
Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh

I breathe in deeply
On fire, on fire, on fire
I can't see clearly
All of it is flames

There's a different world
That I'm searching for
I'm stuck on Earth
But I want more
Can't see out of
This open door
'Cuz there's a
Blocking force

I'm screaming out for
A different life
I keep crying and
I'm up all night
Darkness swallows
Up all the light
Can't walk out of
This night, this night, night

Oh, whoa... oh, whoa, oh...

What Do I Say?

What now?
What do I say now?
What now?
What am I supposed to do?
What now?
Why do I feel this way?
What now?
Was it my fault?

Am I not pretty enough?
Do I need a more tortured past?
Am I forgetting something?
What the fuck did I say?
Why am I breaking down?
Did I not cry hard enough?
Am I just too awful?
What do I say now?

Why me?
Why am I so pushy?
Why me?
Why did I try again?
Why me?
How am I supposed to feel?
Why me?
Why is it always my fault?

Am I not pretty enough?
Do I need a more tortured past?
Am I forgetting something?
What the fuck should I say?
Why am I breaking down?
Did I not cry enough?
Am I just too awful?
What do you want me to say?

So I'm a little bit lost
I'm a little bit hurt
I'm a little bit sad
And I can't even say sorry

I'm a little bit sorry
I'm a little bit wrong
I'm a little bit guilty
And I'm just really sorry

Am I not pretty enough?
Do I need a tortured past?
Am I forgetting something?
What the fuck should I say?
Why am I breaking down?
Did I not cry enough?
Am I just too awful?
What do you want me to say?

Why Don't You Listen?

"What did I tell you?"
He asked me
"What did I say?
I told you from
The beginning that
It'd end this way."

"What did I tell you?"
She asked me
"What did I say?
I was right in the
Beginning; I knew it'd
End this way."

Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
I was just trying
Trying to fool my heart
Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
I'm always trying
Trying to fool my heart

"What did I tell you?"
He asked me
"What did I say?
Big brother always
Knows the right way."

"What did I tell you?"
She asked me
"What did I say?
I promise I'll always
Be there to help
You find the way."

Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
Why did I try fooling,
Fooling my heart?
Why didn't I listen?
My head says, "girl, be smart."
But I don't listen to logic
I listened to my heart

"What did I tell you?"
My mind asked me
"Did you hear what I said?
Maybe it wouldn't hurt
So bad if you listened
To your head."

Why didn't I listen?
I knew it from the start
Why did I try fooling,
Fooling my heart?
Why didn't I listen?
The world said, "girl, be smart."
But I don't listen to anyone
I listen to my heart

I Give.

Why is it that every single
Goddamn, mother fucking
Time I get happy and hopeful
Reality kicks the door down
And I see what I've been
Trying to avoid the whole time?

Don't be fucking stupid, Zia
You know your limits
Every single time
You get too happy
The world kicks you in the face
And tells you that you're wrong
Why don't you just accept that
You will never be good enough
For this world
Because no matter how hard you
Try, it's never enough
No matter how broken you get
It's not enough

Why do you even write anymore?
Why can't you play horn well enough?
Why does your voice sound like hell?
Why are you so ugly?
Why is your acne so bad?
Why the fuck can't you lose weight?
Why can't you be in cheerleading?
Why weren't you ever into sports?
Why can't people talk to you anymore?
Why are all of your friends leaving you?
Why have you always been alone?
Why the fuck are you so impulsive?

I'm done. Fuck this.

Guard

When you're too stupid
To stop believing
You know you've gone
Over the deep edge
I've given it everything
I possibly could
Trying for this is like
Jumping into flames
Stupid girl, why do you
Keep letting your guard down?

You should know the ending
By now
It's happened so many times
That it should come by naturally
It's just a stupid fairytale
Why don't you learn to
Guard what you need?

Logistically Impaired

Maybe there's a reason
It's all not working out
Maybe there's a reason
As to why I can't get it
I guess there is a reason
Why I've been alone
I guess there's a reason
Why

Who said love equals logic?
Who said there's an answer?
I say that hope is enough for me
I say, I say
Who said that fairytales are falsities?
Who said it's wishful thinking?
I say that you are worth my hoping
I say, I say

Maybe there's an equation
To solve this puzzle of love
Maybe there's a hint
Or a clue for me
I think there's a reason
I'm losing this game
There must be a reason
Why

But who said love equals logic?
Who said there's an answer?
I say that hope is enough for me
I say, I say
Who said that fairytales are falsities?
Who gave up on wishful thinking?
I say that you are worth every daydream
I say, I say

This answer
Doesn't need reasons
This answer
Cannot be solved
This answer
Is never proved
This answer
Was worth it all

So who said that love equals logic?
Who said, who said?
Who said that love needed answers?
Who said, who said?

So who said that love equals logic?
Who said there's an answer?
I say that hope is enough for me
I say, I say
Who said that fairytales are falsities?
Who gave up on wishful thinking?
Who said that love equals logic?
Not me, not me

I Hate Decisions

So what do you do
When you can't decide
Between two things,
Reality and fantasy?

Between the one who
Treats you like a princess,
Holds you how you've
Dreamt of being held,
And tries to make you smile
Or the one who
You've fallen in love with,
Who is oblivious to your adoration,
But acts like your invisible?

Say Good-bye

What happened, baby?
When did I disappear?
It's like I'm invisible
To you and all around you
What happened, baby?
Since when do I not exist?
What happened, baby?
Oh...

I miss the way we were
When you wouldn't even
Glance at her
And we were inseperable
Now it's like it never happened
I can't keep doing this
Can't I jut get a good-bye kiss?
'Cuz if you're leaving me
At least say good-bye

What happened, baby?
When did you forget that I'm alive?
It's like I'm living a nightmare and
I want a daydream
What happened, baby?
Since when am I the lesser girl?
What happened, baby?
Oh...

I miss the way we were
When you wouldn't even
Glance at her
And we were inseperable
Now it's like it never happened
I can't keep doing this
Can I at least get a good-bye kiss?
'Cuz if you're leaving me
At least say good-bye

When did we lose it?
What did I do?
Why don't you miss me
Like I miss you?

What was the problem?
What did I do?
Why don't I matter?
What did I do?

I miss the way we were
When you wouldn't even
Glance at her
And we were so close
Now it's like it never happened
I can't keep doing this
Can I at least get a good-bye kiss?
'Cuz if you're leaving me
And I know you're leaving me
When you leave me
At least say good-bye

Intoxicating

Have I told you lately
That I love you?
Do you know that I can't
Breathe when you're with her?
Did you guess that you'd
Forget me?
Have I shown you enough?

Have I told you lately
That I'm hurting?
Do you know that you're
Leaving me in the dust?
Did you guess that I'd be
Here crying?
Have I stood here enough?

Standing in the dark
And crying to the moon
Wasting away
Can't carry through
This love is so intoxicating
And I don't know what to do
Underneath the lights
Playing from my soul
Drifting away
Feel so alone
This love is so invisible
To you

Have I mentioned lately that
I miss you?
Do you remember how it
Used to be?
Did you guess that I'd be here
Forgetting?
Have I taken enough?

Standing in the dark
And crying to the moon
Wasting away
Can't carry through
This love is so intoxicating
Underneath the lights
Playing from my soul
Drifting away
Feel so alone
This love is so invisible
To you

Standing in the dark
Crying to the moon
Wasting away
Can't carry through
This love is so intoxicating

Standing in the dark
And crying to the moon
Wasting away
Can't carry through
This love is so intoxicating
Underneath the lights
Playing from my soul
Drifting away
Feel so alone
This love is so invisible
To you

Off the Stage

Why couldn't I do it?
Why couldn't I prevail?
I messed up again
Proved myself to
Do nothing but fail
And I'm not beautiful
I'm ugly and fat and
Incapable.

Only One Week Left

Open your eyes
Can't you see what you've done?
You've changed me
You've helped me see
All that I can be
You've proven to me
What my ability is

Open your eyes
Can't you see what you do?
You've changed me
You've helped me learn
What it means to fall
You've shown me
What my heart can do

Simply As Such

Hi there. It's been almost a year since I started this blog, so I felt I should recap on how the year went.

Last year was filled with beginnings, endings, and awakenings. I learned a lot about myself. I discovered what type of person I want to be, what I want to do with my life, what my music means to me. I learned what my writing meant to me. The style has changed a bit since Define Hurt, but it's still me. This is who I am. It's something to commend me for.

So for this year, I want to make my music better, more prominent. I want my lyrics to have guitar parts and such. I know impossible things can happen.

"But because these daft and dewy-eyed dopes keep building up impossible hopes, impossible things are happening every day." -Cinderella.

I wanna believe in something more than what's happened to me in the past. I wanna fall in love and be happy and find out more about this life.

I know life's a roller coaster. Guess I just have to hang on for the ride.

Simply as such.

Cry, Baby, Cry

So today I finally cried
I faded into the background
Like elevator music
Except sadder, a little bit darker

Today I finally broke
I shattered into pieces
Like a mirror
Except blacker, a little deeper

Once in a while
It's too hard to breathe
Cry, baby, cry
It'll make it all better
The wind whispers in my ear
"I'll save you, I promise"
But the promise is always
Broken

Today I finally cracked
I ripped from the inside out
Like an egg
Except more fragile, a little less alive

Today I wept
I sobbed for the past
Like a child
Except less innocent, more exposed

Once in a while
It's too hard to breathe
Cry, baby, cry
It'll make it all better
The wind whispers in my ear
"I'll save you, I promise"
But it's always broken

Once in a while
I forget to breathe
I gotta cry, baby, cry
To just make it all better
The wind whispers to me
"I can save you, I promise"
But it was broken

One Last Time

One more star
Is erupting in the sky
One more midnight
Is approaching

Whether you see it
Or not
I'll always be here
Whether you remember
Or not
My heart will still sing
Whether you loved me
Or not
I'll always be here somehow

One more method
To my madness
One more tear
To my collection

One more story
In my library
One more love song
In my head

Whether you see it
Or not
I'll always be here
Whether you remember
Or not
My heart will still sing
Whether you loved me
Or not
I'll always be there somehow

I'm crying
One more time
I'm singing
One more time
I'm living
One last time

Whether you see it
Or not
I'll always be here
Whether you remember
Or not
My heart will still sing
Whether you loved me
Or not
I'll be there somehow

-Author's Note: This was written for a few people. Interpret as you wish. If you want further details, email. Thanks. <3Zia-

Misunderstanding

No, no, no
It's not what I want
I've felt it
I finally understand
It's been there all along
I've just been too blind to see
What I want
Has always been with me

Perfection is when
Your hand was in mine
When your arms were
Around me again
When you said
"I do love you"

So why is it not quite there?

Just Another Night

I'm screaming
My head is throbbing
I can't see
I hurt
Just everywhere
Aches and pains
And heartbreak

I'm crying
My soul is weeping
I can't breathe
I sigh
Everything and anything
Is the same
And broken

Absolute Frustration

Weathered down
Taking it in
Breathing it out
The truth is
The truth is...

I know it to be true
I know what this reality holds
I know that my satisfaction
Will never be reached

Why is the thunder more
Than the lightning?
Why is the tornado stronger
Than the hurricane?
What is the difference
Between pain and innocence?
Which one are you looking for?

Daydreams

What's one more
Daydream for a
Broken heart?
What's one more
Heartbreak for
The lover?
What's one more
Love song for
The lonely one?
What's one more
Daydream
For me?

Sophomore Year is Amazing

One moment in time
I knew what happened
At first it hurt
At first it stung
It subsided
Yes, I still cannot
Control my eyes
And stop those sidelong glances
But I know that it won't happen

The funniest part is
How much it would've
Hurt last year
To be dancing alone
But to see how much
More fun I had this year
Proves how I've grown

Perhaps the game
We played was right
Perhaps it showed
My fate
October 18th, 2010
I'll just have to save the date

Time Frame

A one time offence
Is usually forgiven
A second time
Maybe not so much
But a third?
I guess it's true
That the
"Third time's the charm"

Three years past
First time offence
Maybe it was for the better
We all hurt
We cried
We wanted back our history
But it was gone

Nine months past
Second offence
It was for the better
It didn't hurt so bad
A single tear was shed
We moved on fairly quickly
We forgot the history
And it was gone

Five months past
Third offence
Definitely for the better
Hurt like a band-aid
Short and sweet
No crying this time
The days went by
The past didn't exist
Everything is gone

I Guess I Want To Defy Gravity

Letting myself
Go and feel
Everything I want to feel
Letting myself trust
My first instinct
And take that leap of faith

Feeling free
Feeling happy
Getting over
The hurt
The pain
The insecurity

How is it that some
Things change so fast?

Picking a Star

Differentiating between what should
Have happened and what did
Is like trying to capture a sunbeam

Whether or not I can understand it
Is like trying to tell the difference
From two identical stars
Two identical moments

More so than ever, I feel it
More so than ever, I can't

Where is the logic in this?
Where was the reasoning?
Where was the truth?

I'll pin-point the stars
And pray to Goddess
I pick the right one

Definitely

Funny how I ended up
On this road

Three times
Morning, noon, night
One song
One voice

Funny how I looked in
This direction

Oh, most definitely
Not the norm
Oh, most definitely
Not the usual
But definitely
Definitely
What I want right now

Funny how the daydreams
Are more constant

Funny how I'm blown
Away

Oh, most definitely
Not the norm
Oh, most definitely
Not the usual
But definitely
Definitely
What I want right now

What Happened Then

What about now?
What happened then shouldn't
Have affected me
But it does
I can't control this
My tears fall like rain

What about now?
What happened in the past
Should be gone
But it's not
I can't believe this
My heart breaks like mirrors

So here's to you
Congratulations on hurting me
Again and again
I feel lost and confused
And it's dark
Here's to you
Congratulations on being like them
Again and again
I'm alone and confused
And it's dark

What about now?
What happened back there
Should be over
But it's not
I can't understand this
My voice cracks in the phrases

What about now?
What happened every time
Should have been forgotten
But they aren't
I can't follow this
My heart sings for an answer

Here's to you
Congratulations on hurting me
Again and again
I'm lost and confused
And it's dark
Here's to you
Congratulations on being like them
Again and again
I'm alone and lost
And it's dark

Sometimes Comical Relief Isn't That Funny

Isn't it funny
How when we look back
We know what should
Have been said?

Isn't it funny
That feelings like these
Still can't be forgotten
And released?

Isn't it funny
How when we look back
We know what
To blame?

Isn't it funny
How we've grown?

What I Know Now

There we have it
That reason for me to forget
Why is it that the guilt
Can never cease?

I asked for release
I got it
But the memories are
Never gone

I know it's not my fault
I know it's for the best
I know it's what I wanted
But why is it so hard?

Everytime it leaves my mind
The past comes back to haunt me
And I don't want it
I don't want it

I asked for a chance
I got it
But the past can never
Let me go

I know it's not my fault
I know it's for the best
I know it's what I wanted
But why is it so hard?

And I know it wasn't easy
I know it wasn't fair
I know it messed up the balance
We worked so hard to get

I asked for a chance
I got it
But the past can never
Let me go

I know it wasn't easy
I know it wasn't fair
I know it fixed the balance
That I knew wasn't there

I know that I can do this
I know I can forget
I know that I am stronger
Than I ever knew

rant

Awww shit I lost my talent. ):

Just A Thought or Two

Why is it that nothing will change?
People can say what they want
And do what the want
And not give a damn
About what it will do to them

When did we stop caring about
Ourselves?
Why did we let ourselves go?
Others hold our reputation
But we hold the true key
To our own happiness
Why did we forget it?

"You Cannot Hide Yourself"

For this to end
Is like asking for world peace
It's like trying to stop world hunger
Or to stop prejudice
And hurt
And pain

Maybe there's a reason for it all
Maybe this time it's not my fault
But I can't help but wonder

Why can't it be over?
I didn't ask for this
I just wanted to move on
How come I was the only one capable?

MK;2010

Today we start
The rough and rugged rehearsals
Three to eight
Day to night

And the silver of my mellophone
Glimmers in the light
I've missed this more than I can say
How you don't even know

The uniform
Starched and clean
I've been waiting for this
It holds its own integrity

The field is calling to me
Astroturf and all
Ready for us
And all of our efforts

We are not what you think we are
We are not just nerds
We are athletes
We are the Marching Knights

You're In Control

Because of you
That bullet rings in my ear
Different in a sense
So innocent in perception
Why am I letting you
Have so much control?

And for the record
You don't understand
How this feels
For the record
I can't remember why
It is this way
For the record
Bach was amazing
And I was too

If

If I can't see it
Then what's the problem?
If I can't do it
Why condemn me for it?

The past is haunting
And ever so captivating
But I long not to see it

If I can't believe it
Why not let it go?
If I can't feel it
Why am I the bad guy?

This story is repetitive
And ever so monotonous
I long for it to end

I'm Such A Band Nerd

I remember lying on my bed
Replaying our conversations
Boy, you sure knew how to
Make me smile

I remember you suddenly, out
Of the blue, pulling down on my shako
And I could've sworn you were gonna
Kiss me

I remember standing at competition
And my worries flooding over me
But you looked at me and said,
"I know you're going to do great".

I know how it changed
I know something happened
I know nothing would've come about

But pull on my shako
One last time
And give me that amazing feeling

Bullet

Every night
The same dream
For nights past

Get out, get out
Of course you're there
Of course

Texting my cell phone
Asking me to get ready
For what?

Going to somewhere nice, yes?
How fun for us
Black dress, white cardi, blue Converse

And I wait
And wait
And wait some more

White, stretch Hummer pulls up
Right in front of my driveway
What is going on?

And there you are
Hair disorderly, black Converse
Red band tee, dark jeans, black jacket

You take my hand
Practically drag me into the vehicle
And we leave

Instantly, your mouth is on mine
Hot and hungry, anxious and intense
Hands through my hair

But then we're there
Drury Lane Theatre
Dinner and a show?

We go in, eat food
Same old, same old
Boring part of the night

You take my hand again
Walk me into the theatre
I swell with joy

Orchestra, joy of joys!
We sit in the front
I see the horns

And the lights dim
The familiar tune
My favourite composer

But I wake up.

All Because of My Bruised Ego

I feel stupid to say it
These words are demons
Tantalizing my opinions
Of you and all around you

And her lyrics play in my head
Why don't you want it
As badly as I do?
Why don't you need it
Like me?

By the Goddess, this hurts
And these words are rebelling
Taunting my thoughts
Of you and all about you

And her lyrics soar in my head
Why don't you need me
As badly as I need you?
Why don't you want it
Like me?

I hold back these tears
And laugh through the pain
I want it
I do, I do

And her lyrics play in my head
Why don't you need it
As I do?
Why don't you want me
Like I want you?

Because in Reality, We Hate Each Other

In all actuality, the word family
Means nothing in this house
We fight
We scream
And I cry

I'm not your daughter
I'm not your child
You're glad that I'm not

I'm not loved by you
You hate me more
You're glad that I cry

I'm a bitch
I'm an asshole
You want me to die

Watch me.

Gray

Her eyes were gray
And her hair was brown
As ordinary as it gets
Day by day
Day by day

Walking solitarily down the halls
Holding her books to her chest
Hunched over, eyes downcast
Day by day
By and by

She longs for the moonlight
To take her away
To carry her farther and farther
An escape to the Fae
An escape from mundane

Her eyes are gray
Her hair is brown
She's looking down

For Those Who Need It

It sickens me
Hearing those same words
Over and over and over
Oh, blast it all
I cannot bear it again

The same story
The same heartbreak
The same hurt

I am ready
Loaded with hugs,
Pep talks, and ice cream

Bring. It. On.

Euphoria

I let myself fall
I jump over the edge
The one I promised myself
I wouldn't go to

Stupid girl, stupid girl
Your innocence constricts you
And those beautiful words
Float out of your mouth

The wind pushes my hair back
As I drop to euphoria beyond
My wildest of imaginations
And I'm loving every second

Stupid girl, stupid girl
Your innocence constricts you
And those beautiful words
Float out of your lips

I can see the bottom
No, not this, this is all wrong
The dream is a nightmare
Black and intimidating

Stupid girl, stupid girl
Your innocence constricts you
And those beautiful words
Float out of your mouth

Sweet Serenade

Scream it to me
I'll accept you, I will
Break me down
Bury me one last time

This is my farewell
This is my goodbye
I'm leaving you behind

Scream it to me
I didn't mean for it to end like this
Lie to me
Kill me one last time

This is my sanctuary
This is my soul
I'm leaving it for you to find

Scream it to me
I'm sorry, so sorry
Plead to me
Beg to me one last time

This is my serenade
This is my sweet revenge
I'm leaving it for you to grieve with

Last Chance

I trusted you
I honestly did
I cared about you
I honestly did

And for what?
Is this what you want?
To leave me behind?

I'll do it
Just ask me
I can
Just believe

One more cut
Is all it takes
One more pill
No more mistakes

I trusted you
I really did
I cared for you
I really did

And for what?
To be forgotten?
Is this what you want?

Say the word
I'll do it
Just believe
And I'm there

One more blade
I want to bleed
One more pill
Is all I need

This is the last chance
Do or die...

Author's Note: I was in a verrrry stormy mood during this time. I needed to release dark energies.

Away

Say good-bye
'Cuz I'm falling into comatose
Say good-bye
I don't think I'm coming back
Say good-bye
'Cuz from this point on, I'm letting go
Say good-bye
I doubt you'd shed a single tear

Fifteen years
Turn to fragments of milliseconds
And my life flashes before me

The shards explode into misery
Prick me 'til I'm drowning
And throw me to the ground

I trusted you
And I knew it was stupid
I knew it was a mistake
As usual

Say good-bye
I'm slipping away

I Found It Funny

I find it funny
That the only time you care
Is when you're in the wrong
I find it funny
That the only time you care
Is when she's gonna be there
I find it funny
That the only time you care
Is when you know you're in trouble

Sorry isn't gonna cut it this time
Bet you'd like to see me crying
I fuel the fire in my own heart
I let myself burn to pieces
And watch the embers fly
Smoldering in the darkness

Something To Commend Me For

For a millisecond
I believed in something more
Than what I perceived to be
The inescapable timeframe of mine
Of mine

For a millisecond
I thought of something different
Than trying to mend my broken heart
The incredible loneliness, I never
Thought I'd feel it again, again

But why couldn't I be worth it?
What was so wrong with me?
Sure, I'm not beautiful or wonderful
Like she is, but there's gotta be
Something to commend me for

And there was something
To enjoy, maybe the company
Guess I felt really alone
Couldn't control the way my mind worked
Not today, oh not today

But why couldn't I be worth it?
What was so wrong with me?
Sure, I'm not beautiful or wonderful
Like she is, but there's gotta be
Something to commend me for

I guess me being lonely
Isn't good enough an excuse
I guess I can't control my heart
Hang onto these words

Why wasn't I worth it?
What's so wrong with me?
I'm unbeautiful, impossible
And I'll never, ever be her

Why am I not worth it?
What's so wrong with me?
I know I'm unbeautiful
And I wonder
If there's something to
Commend me for

hUN You're So (Self-Portrait II)

Untouchable
Unlovable
Inexcusable
Deniable
Inevitable
Unbeautiful

Fate

Bounding to forever
Leaping to an infinite fate
Crawling to eternity
I cry forth
Blessings upon thy future
Tidings on thy love

Horizon

Absolve to be
Everything you ever wanted
I see it on the horizon
Nothing scares me more
The fear, the fury
Peace, even so

xXxX

Dripping with jealousy
Seething with rage
Crying with sorrow
Falling with fear

Infinity

Rip me into infinity
I'll proudly commend you for it
Bury me, bury me
There's security underground

For I feel the night
Erupting from the day
I feel the day
Surrendering to night

Masquerade without your mask
Mutilate without the blade
Take my life without the gun
As I fade away

Rip me into infinity
I'll take every single word
Tear me down, tear me down
I can take it

For I feel the pain
And suffering in life
I feel the dark
In your soul

Masquerade without the mask
Mutilate without the blade
Take my life without the gun
As I fade away

Pull the trigger on my mind
Delve deeper into my soul
Pray to Goddess I survive
Lest I fade away

Rip me into infinity
I'll take every single word
Bury me, bury me
I can take it

Masquerade without the mask
Mutilate without the blade
Take my life without the gun
As I fade away

Pull the trigger on my mind
Delve deeper into my soul
Pray to Goddess I survive
Lest I fade away

Trigger

Except for a broken heart
I guess that I'm okay
Except for a bruised soul
I can make it through the day

Without these tears
I wouldn't be here
Without my words
I can't live

Except for a torn belief
I guess that I'll be fine
Except for being lonely
I can live without you as mine

Without these tears
I wouldn't be here
Without these words
I can't go on

I see it
I hear it
I miss it

Without these tears
I can't be here
Without these words
I can't live

Without these tears
I can't go on

Ignoring Me

Make up your mind
What you're doing
Is hypocrisy

Ignore me as I speak
But then try and try
Again and again
What gives you this right?

Make up your mind
I'm done

Alone

I bet you don't see her
No, not that girl
Hiding behind a mask
The one inside
The one with issues
The one with no confidence
The unhappy girl who
Sees the good in everyone
But refuses to look herself
In the mirror and tell herself
That she's pretty
Or even average
Doubtful, alone
Scared, hurting
Can anyone break the barriers?
Can anyone try to help her?
Will you save her?

Good-bye

Losing a never-ending game
Repeatedly trying
Repeatedly failing
I miss you, I miss you
And I don't want to leave
But I have to

'Cuz every time my heart breaks
I go back for more
Every time I hear her name
I can't find what I'm looking for
And I'm too far gone
To patch things up
So I guess this is good-bye

Failing at every opportunity
Repeatedly wishing
Repeatedly losing
I'll miss you, I'll miss you
I don't want to give in
But I must

'Cuz every time my heart breaks
I go back for more
Every time I hear her name
I can't find what I was looking for
I'm too far gone to patch this up
So I guess this is good-bye

Every time my heart breaks
I go back for more
I have to stop this game of love
So I guess this is good-bye

Because of Chance

By chance
I met an interesting path
By chance
I let myself bleed into it
By chance
I held on until I broke
By chance
I'll ride the roller coaster again

You, you, you
Are the reason
For every single tear
Running down my cheeks

You, you, you
Are the reason
My heart breaks
At fourth hour daily

Don't forget to throw in a twist
'Cuz what's my life without
Hurting the people I care most about?

Then you
Had to walk into my life
And you
Had to throw me that curve ball
And you
Made my heart ache

By chance
I'll try to forget
By chance
Maybe I can move on
By chance
I'll hope again
By chance
I'll give up

You, you, you
Are the one I'm in love with
And you
Just had to make things difficult

Letting Go Of You

Eventually you just gotta stop
Look back at the tears
And ask yourself
Was it really worth it?
'Cuz honestly, I'm doubting it
By the Goddess,
Falling in love with you
Was amazing
But it was unrequited
And so I give
Let go of the past
Breathe in the air
And jump out of my comfort zone

Eventually there comes a point
When you just can't take it
Anymore
And end up letting go of
The best thing that ever
Walked into your life

Eternity

Provide me
With a light, with a sign
With an answer
It's all I ask
All I want
All I need

Give me
A force or a change
Or a love
Bring it to me

I can feel myself slipping
Deeper into this current
Oh, what feels like an eternity
I shall let it pass

Pardon My Falling

Forgive me
I seem to have fallen
Into your eyes
Pull me out?
Pardon me
I want to fall
Into your arms
Help me in?
Excuse me
I seem to have fallen
In love with you
Fall back with me?

A Political Statement

An innovative voice
From a crowd of conformity
They shun her ideals
Shred her religion
Destroy her beliefs

But she is the change
She's open-minded and loving
Carefree and accepting
A spark of light in the dark

A boy opens his eyes
And hears the lies
They spill like water
Thicken like blood
End like it's 2012

But he is the change
He's open-minded and thoughtful
Inquisitive and forgiving
A spark of light in the dark

She is a youth
With her head in the clouds
But conformists try
To pull her down
Again, again

He is a boy
With his mind wandering
But his parents try
To bring him back
Again, again

But she is the change
She's open-minded and loving
Carefree and accepting
A spark of light in the dark

He is the change
He's open-minded and thoughtful
Inquisitive and forgiving
A spark of light in the dark

They are the change
The sparks of hope in the dark

Envious

Side by side
Closely walking
Down the halls
Looking directly
Into each others' eyes
Hands touch
Grasp
Oh, I envy them so

Similar

All the same things
I can feel them, I do
Identical, identical
Absolutely compatible
By the Goddess!
Why don't you see it
Like I do?

A perfect pair
I can feel it, I do
So similar, similar
Absolutely perfect
Why don't you want it
Like I do?

Follow my voice
I sing the song for you
Ah, but you don't hear it
Closing your ears
Again and again

You know it, you do
But refuse to believe
What's right in front
Of those gorgeous eyes
It's all for you, everything
By the Goddess!
I feel it rushing over me

Everything's for you
The melody, the lyrics
The song and the spirit
I give it to you
I always have
And will never get that
Piece of me back

Follow my voice
I sing the song for you
But you won't hear it
You're closing your ears
Again and again

Recipe for Destruction

For a moment, I see the ending
It's like an original fairytale

For a second, I feel the breezes
Fling past me in a gush

Forever proves to be a long time
Death is the melody to the rhyme
Dusk crawls killing the day
Whispering away, whispering away

Scream me a love song
So I can move
Destroy me
Do what you will
Give me an answer
To this disaster

For a moment I want the blade
It's like an irresistable need

For a second I can see it
The world without her pain

Eternity is a riddle
She's stuck in the middle
And the stars are alone
Whispering away, whispering away

Scream me a love song
So I can move
Destroy me
Do what you will
Give me an answer
For this disaster

Cling to the night
Breathe in the air
Midnight, take me
Take me as my whole self

Scream me a love song
So I can move on
Destroy me
Do what you will
Give me an answer
For this disaster

Storming Again

Well, knock me over with a feather
There you go again!
Like I've said before
If you break her heart
I will break your face
Fear the storm
It'll hit you like
Never before

Fallen Angel

Broken-winged, starry-eyed
With tear-stained cheeks because of lies
A beautiful disaster
A destroyed dove
A destruction of love
Angel, stop crying
Angel, live on
No one will stay up if you fall

My Heart II

So here's what you did to it
You ripped it in two
Then proceeded to shred it
Further and further
After that, you led a heard of
Pissed off elephants to
Stampede on top of it
And pummel it into the dirt
And don't even get me started
On you throwing it
To the dog

Ridden with Self-Pity

Stringing together
My last bits of sanity
Diving into a sea of insecurity
Can I make it?
Can I live?

All I see is black
What motivation?
I hear, but cannot feel
I see, but cannot act

Nothing more than me being lazy
Nothing more than me not caring
Nothing more than me giving in

Everything is nothing
Nothing is everything
Oh, look
Literary terms abound!

She'd be so proud

Dreamland

I can see it
It's a dream
Your arms wrapped around me
Holding me tighter, tighter

It's like I feel it
The warmth of your body
Against mine
A beautiful fantasy

Don't wake me up
If this is all it'll be
Don't wake me up
If it's just a dream
Some need pinches
But I say, "Leave me alone"
It's the only time
He'll ever be just my own

I can see it
It's a fairytale
Your hands running through my hair
Pull me closer, closer

It's like I feel it
The caress of your lips
Against mine
A fantastic idea

But don't wake me up
If this is all it'll be
Don't wake me up
If it's only a dream
Some need a pinch
But I want to be alone
It's the only time
I can call him my own

I close my eyes
Feel you sighing, sighing
I wake up
And fall

Don't wake me up
If this is all it'll be
Don't wake me up
If it's only a dream
Some need pinches when dreaming
But I say, "Leave me alone"
It's the time when
I can call you my own

In a dream, my own dream
We're alone

Pieces of My Heart

My heart is in pieces
But you just do not see
Each one of them is different
Yet all the same to me

One in love
One in like
One unknown
One for looks

I'll always want them all
I'm too greedy for just one
But I can't make up my mind
It's coming too undone

One for his world
One for his eyes
One for his talent
One for his laugh

Eventually I see it
The true love that I have known
But he won't ever love me
He cannot be my own

For his laugh
For his stupid remarks
For his green eyes
For his music
For his hugs
For his touches
For him

But the pieces always jumble
I can't have the one that fits my heart
That'd be too good for me
I knew it from the start

Whispered Song

I sing to the storm clouds
A long forgotten tune
One purposely left behind

Losts in the mists of a tragic past
For centuries
Enduring life's greatest disturbances

I scream to the night sky
A deathly shriek
One forever remembered
As the final goodbye

Held in the hollows of an unearthly dream
For an era
Surviving the depths of darkness

I sing to the storm clouds
Of a longing
I scream to the night
Of a past
I cry to the moonlight
For a saviour
I whisper to the wind
For once last chance

Yeah, I Know

Trusting you was a mistake
I know it was
Why, then, did I fall so hard?

Feeling it bite me again hurts
And you probably won't understand
How bad it hurts to forget

Yeah, I know
Nothing comes from wishing
Yeah, I know
It wouldn't have happened anyway
Yeah, I know
She was better than me
But right in front of me?
Did you really have to?

Seeing you and her happpy together
What a sting it is to my soul
My soul's still aflame, just like her hair

I know by now I'm just a memory
But at least I'm still somewhat there
And you should know I felt the same

Yeah, I know
Nothing comes from wishing
Yeah, I know
Nothing could happen anyway
Yeah, I know
She was curled up in your arms
But right in front of me?
Did you really mean anything you said?

The Saddest Part

The saddest part of losing her
Is knowing that it was all a lie
An act of recovery
What a stupid cliche.

The saddest part of it
Was that I had believed it
We'll make it through, girlie
What a ridiculous ideal.

The saddest part of losing him
Is knowing that he was there
I'm pretty sure I care about you
What a pathetic notion.

The saddest part is playing
Boobskiball, laughing, talking
I'm not talking to you
What a hard threat to keep.

The saddest part is loving
So many people at once
You are all my world
Then losing them all

The saddest part is that
Nothing will ever be the same

Let's Pretend, Shall We?

What was I thinking?
Falling again was
A bad idea
Guess I've been sinking
Into despair

Or maybe I felt love
At least it could've been
I knew it all along
That I was wrong

But for a moment
You and I
Let's pretend that there
Is something
Don't forget it
What I said
I meant it with all my heart
Yeah it's stupid
But I felt it
I could've sworn that you did too
But you don't

Why did I do this?
Lead myself into
A trap
What was I thinking?
Guess I shouldn't have tried

Best friends forever
'Til I messed it up
You knew it all along
That I was wrong

For a moment
You and I
Let's pretend that we have something
Don't forget what I said
I meant it with all my heart
Yeah it's stupid
Baby, I felt it
I could've sworn that you did too
But you don't

For a moment
Let's pretend that there's a you and I
I meant it with all my heart
Every single word
It's stupid
I was wrong
Why don't you feel it too?
You don't.

I'm At A Five, Let's Bring It To A One

You were
Standing there, arms crossed
With a
Smile on your face and
Laughter in your eyes

You were
Looking right at me
And I
Couldn't help but smile
At the thought of you

Holding me
For a little while
And I know

Fairytales don't have a limit
But I shouldn't let just
Anything in it
I know better (echo)
Mirrored eyes hold a
Great surprise
Truths are truths
And lies are lies
To me
Hold onto me
I'm slipping deeper

You were
Playing a game
With a
Lie behind your teeth
And a charm in your eyes

Fall for her
For a little while
'Cuz I know

Fairytales don't have a limit
But I shouldn't let just
Anything in it
I know better (echo)
Mirrored eyes hold a
Great surprise
Truths become truths
Lies become lies
To me
Hold onto me
I'm slipping deeper

Five
Four
Three
Two
One
Game over

Fairytales don't have a limit
And I shouldn't let just anyhing in it
I know better (echo)
Mirrored eyes hold
A great surprise
Truths from truths
Lies from lies
To me
Hold onto me
I'm slipping deeper

Checkmate

Bury me
I could really care less
I say that I'm healing
I say I have feeling
But I don't

Drown me
I don't give a fuck
I'm tired of playing
Games are a bore
So I call checkmate

Give me the visions
I crave the feeling
I need this heat
The only reason I live
Is to die

Because that's what happens
We live
We learn
We die

And I can't change it
So why not stop suffering
And give in, right?
Right.

Or at least that's what I think.

The Game

The door spins
Round and round it goes
A continuous cycle
People go in
People go out

Hate
Love
Jealousy

Fear is the name of the game
Feeling a cold hand on your shoulder?
Most call it fright

Of what, you ask?
Of inocence
Of a smile
Of a laugh
Of a trusting heart

Envy is the name of the game
Looking a bit green in the face?
Most call it jealousy

Of what, you ask?
Of dark eyes
Of poetic nature
Of something unknown to most

Hate is the name of the game
Feeling the wrath in the pit of you?
Most call it loathing

Of what, you ask?
Of fear
Of jealousy
Of the threat
Of the girl

Hate
Love
Jealousy

They pass through the door
Around and around they go
Clouding together
And swirling repeatedly

Hate
Fear
Jealousy
Love

It's all just apart of the game

Arisen

Disaster is the name of the game

Pulling away from neverending pain

Hungry like the wolf

It can't help but engulf us in flames



Lies tend to hold an inch of truth

Even though they're not reliable proof

They tell us of the ones

Who lie, we pick them out like sleuths



A smile is a mask, is it not?

Because we all know behind it

Is a lot

Fear is arising

Blessed Be

Rip me into infinity
For these foresaken eyes
Wish to see no longer
The charade is over
Beata sint

Sing to the cosmos
Of usual despair
The masks come off
The walls break down
An end of a game

Jealousy erupts from a pit
Darkening in the night sky
Leaving the fantasies
Fairytales
Mysteries
A series of unfortunate events

What's that?
What about me being
An unbeautiful disaster?

Oh, right
No one cares

Rip me into infinity
For these foresaken eyes
Wish to see no longer
The charade is over
Beata sint

Oceanos

Devorarme
Este es el golpe final
Siempre y siempre es una mentira
No puedo creer que me quedo de nuevo
Siempre y siempre es una
Mentira

Olvidese de lo que dijo
La mentira es siempre mentira
El pasado es el pasado
Se que debo seguir adelante
Y yo
Las olas me perdone

Cada mentira me quemo
Para que dicho tantas
Se te quiema tambien?
Cada mentira me quemo
Para todos estaban en llamas
Siempre y siempre

Olvidese de lo que dijo
La mentira es simpre mentira
El pasado es el pasado
Se que debo sequir adelante
Y you
Las olas me perdone

Siempre son las ondas

Sweet Serenade

For everything there is a season
But this, this is worse than winter

Iced over, blocking off the world
No longer allowing heartbreak
The anguish holds to her

I'll never hurt you
Say it again and again
I think I'm falling for you, too
Liars, when they speak truth,
Are never believed

After every single lie
She falls to the ground

A sweet serenade
An unbeautiful disaster
Only for a moment
The lights touch her eyes

I see it.
Happiness is possible

But it is engulfed by pain.
And she ends it all
With one final good-bye

So long and goodnight

Holding Onto My Answer

Call me foolish one more time, Hope
I know that I can take it again
Dare I try to live once more?
Try and complete the puzzle of me?

I said that I knew
And I am sure that I was not lying
But oh, it is so hard to change
Especially this rapidly

Only time can allow a metamorphosis
But I have not the time
The waves pull me deeper
Farther into subconsciousness

I have allowed my submission too long
Change is a necessity for me
But is it possible right now?
Hope screams no

But I scream back yes.

Of Pet Names and Rain

Dimly lit stage
Two chairs
Two minds
Catching my eyes
Using that
Special name

But why, oh, why isn't it me?
I scream it to the night sky
Darkening from lead-ons
And my tears hide in the rain

Your hand is
Dangerously
Close to mine
I feel a spark
I bet it's one sided

It slips into mine
I feel that warmth
I crave it indeed
I see the heat
With trained eyes

Why, oh, why isn't it me?
I scream it to the night sky
Darkening from lead-ons
My tears hide in the rain

Voices surround us
Two hearts
Two minds
You're all I see
Dark hair
Bright eyes

Use her name
Use that name
Use my name

Why, oh, why isn't it me?
I scream it to the night sky
Darkening from lead-ons
My tears hide in the rain

Why, oh, why isn't it me?
I scream to the sky
The fire dances in your eyes
In the storm I hear that name

Drop Me A Letter II

There are times when I wish
I could gouge out my eyes
There are times when I wish
I knew what those looks implied

I give, I give
Guess I just can't win
I'm done, I'm done
You've won
Drop me a letter
Attached to a star
When you change your mind
From what you have so far
I give, I give
You win

Go ahead and flirt with her
Right in front of me
I know when you close your eyes
She is all you see

So I'll give it up
For you
Change my mind
For you
Forget the past
For you
And your fantasies

I give, I give
Guess I just can't win
I'm done, I'm done
You've won
Drop me a letter attached to a star
When you change your mind from
What you have so far
I give, I give
You win

I give, I give
It's an impossible win
I'm done, I'm done
Just coming undone

The past is the past
Knew it wouldn't last
The future's still ahead
But it won't be you

I give, I give
I knew I wouldn't win
I'm done, I'm done
You won
Drop me a letter attached to a star
When you keep me forever
And love all the scars
'Cuz I didn't know that I'd
Make it this far
Drop me a letter
Attached to a star

I give, I give
You win

Awakening

Something is changing
A metamorphosis of sorts
Growing up and experiencing life

Something is different
An evolution of sorts
Forgetting the past and living in the present

For a new day and age have
Awakened
Let us welcome them with
Open arms
It only hurts at the
Beginning
Suffer through the tears
And go on

Life is a challenge
An obstacle course
Climbing up mountains proves its difficulty

Willow trees flourish
Waving their limbs in the breeze
Perservering in the greatest of storms

For a new day and age have
Awakened
Let us welcome them with
Open arms
It only hurts at the
Beginning
Suffer through the tears
And go on

Something is changing
And evolution of sorts
Forgetting yesterday and living for tomorrow

Something is changing
A metamorphosis
Cacoon to butterfly

Life to death
Death to life

Open your eyes

For a new day and age have
Awakened
Let us welcome them with
Open arms
It only hurts at the
Beginning
Suffer through the tears
And go on

Low Self-Esteem is a Bitch

I guess believing isn't good enough
Anymore
I guess trying isn't enough
Today
'Cuz everytime I try to find
The hidden meaning in your eyes
You tell me that I'm wrong
But I swear

I feel like I'm losing
Everything I tried to gain
I feel I'm losing you
Again
Even though you say I'm wrong
I can't believe it, I'm not strong
I'm too weak to believe

Again?

Bad, bad, bad
Mean
Cruel
Harsh
Break him again,
Why don't you?
He's done nothing
But love you!
You bitch
I hate you
You're hurting him
Selfish, selfish
Bitch

Hilarity Ensues

Oh, ouch
That one stung, didn't it?
Baby, lying won't help you
When talking to me
Bet it burned escaping your teeth
"I'll never hurt you"
Within a two day span, it was gone
Nice to know
That I'm not worth the truth
Angry?
Oh, you better believe it
But you're not worth my time

Try and Break Me

Say you're sorry
For the lies you told within three hours
Oh, sorry
For the empty words; they didn't mean a thing

So you care
That's a laugh
For my bleeding heart to take it
So you care?
What a lie
I knew that you were fakin'

I re-read the texts
Laugh out loud
Roll on the floor laughing my ass off
Then get off the ground
Get off the ground

I knew that you would charm me
And I knew that I would try
To get a bit closer
To be the apple of your eye
But it was stupid
A game to you
I don't want to make things right
Take a chance
Try and fucking break me

And explanation
Would be useful at this time
An intervention
Will put you back in line

So you're sorry
What a joke
I just can't believe you
So you're dumb
Well, no duh
You lied to us both

I knew that you would charm me
And I knew that I would try
To get a bit closer
To be the apple of your eye
But it was stupid
A game to you
I don't want to make things right
Take a chance
Try and fucking break me

I re-read the texts
Laugh out loud
Roll on the floor laughing my ass off
Then get off the ground
Get off the ground

I knew that you would charm me
And I knew that I would try
To get a bit closer
To be the apple of your eye
But it was stupid
A game to you
I don't want to make things right
Take a chance
Try and fucking break me

Runaway Love

I refuse to be the middle man
I don't care
I'm leaving
Figure it out yourself
I'm not cutting for you
And don't you dare call me weak
I'm strong
I just need a break
So I'm leaving
And I don't want to come back

Wake Up, ******

I relive the moment
Pretending it's a dream
You're lying
You're not?
Why, why?

Why did you re-open the scars?
Why did the past come back?
Everything he said was true
And I miss you
Or the person you used to be

I take the needle
Press it into my skin
Wake up, ******
Oh, you're not sleeping
Not dreaming
Then what went so wrong?

Why did you re-open the scars?
Why did the past come back?
Everything he said was true
And I miss you
Or the person you used to be

Every cut is for you
For everytime I couldn't
Make you proud
For everytime I let you down
For everytime you hurt me
Every lie
Every broken promise
Every broken heart

Do you hear me sobbing?
I hurt
I really do
And I'm so sorry
I really miss you
But I doubt you even notice

Why did you re-open the scars?
Why did the past come back?
Everything he said was true
And I miss you
Or at least who you used to be

I hate you
I love you
I miss you
I'm sorry
Wake up

You Can Care Or Not, The Choice Is Yours

Bet you don't care
That inside I'm dying
Bet you don't care
That outside I'm crying
The tears sting behind my eyes
I can't believe I fell for lies

My head is throbbing
With unrequited love
Bet you don't care that
You led me on
Why can't you see
What you do to me?

It's too bad for you
You lost the best thing
That happened to you
Too bad for you
'Cuz I told you every
Little thing about me
Sucks to be you
Guess you'll live without me
It's too bad for you

Bet you will care that
You lost my friendship
Bet you will care that
You ended it
You don't see the
Other side of me

It's too bad for you
You lost the best thing
That happened to you
Too bad for you
'Cuz I told you every
Little thing about me
Sucks to be you
Guess you'll live without me
Too bad for you

Bet you don't care
Bet you will care
Bet you won't care
Bet you don't care

It's too bad for you
You lost the best thing
That happened to you
Too bad for you
'Cuz I told you every
Little thing about me
Sucks to be you
Guess you'll live without me
It's too bad for you

My Sweet Refusal

Candy hearts, pinks and reds
Cupid's arrows, bows on heads
A ridiculous festivity
One for love and hope and glee
Won't mean anything to me
I refuse to partake

Don't you see what's at stake?
My sanity, for goodness sake!
This lovebug bites too many times
Oh, this holiday shall not be mine

Warm our hearts
And we'll melt the snow
It's a romantic sitcom show
And I refuse to partake

Oh, The Irony

Isn't it funny?
'Just give it a chance...'
Hypocrisy at its finest
I'm laughing
Through these forsaken tears
You don't get it
Oh, poor child
You'll learn one day
But not through me

Don't Bother Waiting For Me

I bet you're lost
Well so am I
I just don't see why
You felt the need to lie

I bet you're sorry
Well, I am too
I'm stupid for believing
That what you said was true

Hold up
Wait a minute
Put a bit of love in it
Can't you see what's happening?
Tearing apart
But I refuse to restart
So if you're leaving
Don't bother waiting for me

I bet you care
Well, not really
You just rambled on
Forgot about my feelings

Hold up
Wait a minute
Put a bit of love in it
Can't you see what's happening?
Tearing apart
But I refuse to restart
So if you're leaving
Don't bother waiting for me

I know I shouldn't care
You're not worth my time
'Cuz the shit that you told me
Baby, it's out of line

Hold up
Wait a minute
Screw that bit of love in it
'Cuz I don't fucking care
Tearing apart
I'll never ever restart
So you mean shit to me
Go ahead and leave
Don't bother waiting for me

I'm Done

Lies upon lies
They escape your teeth
With that charming smile
I, I know
To hold myself
Accountible

For this
I'm the one who fucked up
For this
I'm the one who should've known

I guess I cannot believe
Any longer
Too late to make this friendship
Stronger
I guess the words didn't mean a thing
I don't know if you will ever
Understand
What it means to truly be a
Man
I'm sorry for trying
Sorry for crying
Over you
But now I'm done

Self-pity flows
From your mouth
Just like a river
I can't deny it
This kind of hurts

Oh, this
Is making my life so complicated
This
Isn't worth the fight

I guess I cannot believe
Any longer
Too late to make this friendship
Stronger
I guess the words don't mean a thing
I doubt that you'll ever
Understand
What it truly means to be a man
I'm sorry for trying
Sorry for crying
Over you
But now I'm done

Oh, I guess I'm done with this
Oh, done with your bullshit
It keeps coming out
Refusing to stay in silence
But oh well

I guess I cannot believe
Any longer
Too late to make the friendship
Stronger
Of course this happens to me
I doubt that you will understand
How to truly be a man
I'm sorry
Oh, sorry
I guess I'm done crying
I'm done

Tension

Remember my assured face?
Well, you broke me
I'm sorry for believing you
And I'm sorry for trying

He says I'm wrong to forgive
Well, I don't agree
It had to be done
Otherwise, could I move on?

I guess we're friends still
Well, at least we pretend to be
And I guess it's fine
But is it tense for you too?

A Different Meaning To Love Bite

Hold on for a minute
Tell me what game your playing
Hold on for a minute
Tell me what you're saying

I can't let my guard down
Whenever you're around
I can't let the walls break
I can't

'Cuz I've been hurt
And lied to
And broken-hearted
I've been hurt
I've cried, too
And felt love's bite
What goes around comes around
Don't wanna break down
Because of you

Hold on for a second
I don't know if I believe you
Hold on for a second
Tell me what you're saying is true

I can't be your everything
'Cuz she still holds a piece
Of what I want, need
I can't

I've been hurt
And lied to
And broken-hearted
I've been hurt
I've cried, too
And felt love's bite
What goes around comes around
Don't wanna break down
Because of you

And because of you
The walls go up
The mask goes down
See those tears
They're because of you

I've been hurt
And lied to
And broken-hearted
I've been hurt
I've cried, too
And felt love's bite
What goes around comes around
Don't wanna break down
Because of you
Not for this love bite

Yell At Me Again, Why Don't You?

Sharp, stinging tears threaten to release
They well behind her dark eyes
Can you save her, pretty please?
'Cuz no one else will bother

Attacked from all corners
Surrounded, invaded
Forgetting that she has feelings, too
Enough with her
She isn't worth it

They yell, scream, harass
Leaving her confused, crying
Tell me, tell me
What did I do?
What made me hated by all of you?

'Cuz I don't see it
No one tells me
No one wants to
And I think I'll give up now

Hold Up

Don't do it.
Don't leave me.
I say it's okay
But really it's not
You don't understand
It'll hurt if you do
No, no, no
Why are you doing this?
Why, why, why?
You'll never understand!
I thought you wanted to
Be my friend
Help me
Break down the barriers
Something
Proved me wrong, didn't you?
So hold up.
Say it to my face
Before walking out on me

Wait A Minute

Wait a second
Wait a minute

You're speaking
With anger
And not with logic
I doubt you hear
What you are saying

I bet you didn't mean
It
But you said it anyways
I'm not her
I never will be

Forgot that I existed, right?
Well.
I guess I'm used to it by now
So I give up.
I give in.
Lose me again.

Put A Little Boom In It

Gently, I etch the words
Onto my skin
The ink stays, proving
My emotions in writing

They are very noticeable
On one side
But on the other side
They are not.
Kind of like me.

You don't see more than
One half of me
I refuse to let you in
I won't.

'Cuz I don't need the pain

Oops. That Was Stupid

Well
It kinda stings
Kinda pissed off my friend
He's going to throw me
Through a window now
Oops.
That was stupid

Looking Right Through Me

I bet you don't see me
That girl who ever so
Adores you
I bet you don't hear me
That girl who really truly
Loves you

I can guess that I'm
Invisible
To your green eyes
Completely seen through
Can't comprehend it
Can you?
Oh, forget about me
I'll be fine
I think

I want
I need
I crave
I plead

Why don't you see?
I've broken down every wall
Every barrier
Everything
I trust you
Don't do it
Don't hurt me

I want
I need
I crave
I plead

You know what you do
To me
Don't break this heart
Not again
No, no, no
I can't deal
It hurts
No

I want
I need
I crave
I plead

You're looking right through me

Justice (English Translation)

So much I can't handle
You're just so fake
I can't deal with it anymore
Because karma isn't working
Do me a favour and get out
'Cause I'm not in love with you

Do me justice
Stay out of my mind
You're so conceited
So arrogant
Yet you think you're not
And that's why I want justice
Because you hurt me too badly

I thought it was true love
But it was only a dream
No, only a nightmare
All you thought of was you
And I couldn't take it anymore
So get out the door

Do me justice
Stay out of my mind
You're so conceited
So arrogant
Yet you think you're not
And that's why I want justice
Because you hurt me too badly

Give It A Shot (Sam's Song)

Can't you see the longing
In her eyes
And the way she just
Adores you?
Can't you help but
Realize
That she would never
Ignore you?

You're clueless as to
How she's feeling
Unaware of her
Determination
Maybe it's just me
But I always see her
Keeling over from her
Admiration

Give it a shot
What's the worst that could happen?
It's childs' play
I'm telling you this
If it doesn't work
Just remember that
Nothing is forever
So give it a shot

Can't you see how bad
You're hurting her
And thaat she really
Loves you?
Can't you tell that she
Wants you as hers
Evven if her best friend
Does, too?

You're just out there
Pretending you don't see
Her watching
After you
I can't believe you
Won't return the love
We all know she has
Given you

Give it a shot
What's the worst that could happen?
It's childs' play
I'm telling you this
If it doesn't work
Just remember nothing is
Forever
So give it a shot

I can't bear it
When my friends are hurting
When things aren't going
The way they planned
Come on, accept her for
Who she is
Man up and
Take a stand

Give it a shot
What's the worst
That could happen?
Maybe you'll fall
In love with her

Give it a shot
What's the worst
That could happen?
It's still childs' play
I'm telling you this
If it doesn't work
Remember some things
Aren't meant for forever
Forever
Baby, give her a shot
You know you want to
Give it a shot

Run

Stop trying to prove yourself
The world wants you gone
So go
Go, go
Run away and never return
Farther, farther, baby
Escape your fate which is
Only horrors
Only to be betrayed
Only to be unloved
Only to be alone
Only to be abandoned
You can't prove yourself
To the entire world
So go
Go, go
Farther, farther, baby

I Wrote Your Love Song

So I take it you don't trust me?
Well, I guess I'm used to it by now
Considering I wrote this love song
For you, there's not reason to be
Wary of me
I'm no threat to the two of you
I've got my own sights set
They're nothing like yours

It's Too Bad For You

When did you say, "Oh well, she'll live"?
When did you decide to just not give
Why did you decide to leave her out
With nothing but her sad little pout?

When did you say:
"Isn't it too bad?
Oh, poor girl, so sad.
But enough is enough
She's made of stronger stuff.
I'm sure she'll be okay
We'll say 'sorry' another day"?

When did you say, "Oh well, she'll live"?
When did you decide to just not give
Why did you decide to say
"It's too bad for you"?

What I've Come To Realize

When do we get the big image we seek?
In a day, a year, maybe a week?
They say to come to conclusions
And face the facts, ignore delusions

But what I've come to realize is that
Nothing can ever be a lie
Because what do we know?
Maybe snow is rain and
Rain is snow
Reality is never the key
Unlock your fantasy
And find what you wish to
Realize

What did you see through your memory?
Did you see a lfie lived happily?
Or is it despair and misery
That keep us under lock and key?

What I've come to realize is
Nothing can ever be a lie
Who's in charge of this set?
Maybe wet is dry
And dry is wet
Realization may be the key
Unlock your fantasy
And realize

Cacophony is Like the Word Orange.

It's an inconvenient truth
But the truth is best, now
Isn't it?

I'm sorry
For loving you
I'm sorry
For trying to be
What I couldn't be
I'm sorry
For being imperfect
I'm sorry
For dying on the inside

It's an inevitable destruction
The incineration of
A bleeding soul

I'm sorry
For loving you
I'm sorry
For trying to be
Who I couldn't be
I'm sorry
For being imperfect
I'm sorry
For dying on the inside

It's complete pandemonium
Utter chaos, mass death
A cacophony of terrors

I'm sorry
For loving you
I'm sorry
For trying to be
Who I couldn't be
I'm sorry
For being imperfect
I'm sorry
For bleeding on the inside

I'm sorry
For trying
I'm sorry
For being set up
To fail

I Hate What You Do To My Heart

So I guess you found the truth
Why am I not surprised?
You could always read me like a book
Even when you couldn't
See my big brown eyes
I can't believe this
At all

I never could imagine this feeling
It hits me like a bullet
Stabs me like a knife
But leaves me feeling warm
Heated with relief

You're pretty clever
I'll give you that
You managed to break down
The wall I've been
Putting up for so long
But you'll leave me
Like they always do

Of course
Because I'm not a princess
And you'll never be my
Knight in shining armor

I Guess I Don't Matter

Held to a certain degree

Of closeness

But unable to reach the center

Because my words are lies

Or least what you believe them to be



Push me back against these walls

Never believe me

I refuse to lie to you

You shine so brightly in my eyes

Don't believe it

I guess I never believe you either



So what is this built on?

Laughs, hopes?

Talks of boys?

Does it even matter?



Where is that trust that I

Put in your hands?

Together We Cry

Do you remember writing that line?
I still have it, didn't erase it
Every so often, I look and
Think of you
Let's not cry together, love
If anything, let's laugh
Or dance or sing or love
The city's not your only friend
And its lights are always there
But I promise, I'm much more
Reliable than them

Eyes Don't Lie

Tell me
Give me the truth
I'm sick of not knowing
Just spill the secrets
Tell me.
I see it behind your eyes
You may not know it
But I need you, too

It's Too Much At Once

I hear the love songs
I feel myself breaking
Breaking down
I missed the feeling
But it's too much
Wow.
It's too much.
I can't be just a friend
Anymore

Author's Note: I think anyone who TRULY knows me knows who this is about. -coughcough-

Surrender

You give it your all
But you're set up to fail
You try to be strong
But will never prevail
Only time can erase the scars
For when the world breaks your heart
Again and again

The world kicks you to the ground
You try to get up but it's not enough
So cry for surrender
A surrender
The world smacks you in the face
Hoping to put you in your place
So cry for a surrender
A surrender

You're on your own
Looking for joy
The people you know
Play with you like a toy
Only storms wash away the pain
Lightning crashes and it starts to rain
Again and again

The world kicks you to the ground
You try to get up but it's not enough
So cry for surrender
A surrender
The world smacks you in the face
Hoping to put you in your place
So cry for surrender
A surrender

Giving in's the only option
But in this world the strong survive
The pain for ordinary life
Lets you know that you're alive

The world kicks you to the ground
You try to get up but it's not enough
So cry for surrender
A surrender
The world smacks you in the face
Hoping to put you in your place
So cry for surrender
Cry for surrender

Change

The sky is blue
Light, robin's egg blue
A beautiful hue
Untouched by clouds
Clear as water
Bright with the sun's rays
Streaming to warm the
Earth

Traces of powdery white
Join with the azure
Still equally sunny
But holding more clouds
Gently, ever so gently
They float along warm thermals
Slowly parading above us

The clouds gradually darken
Holding more and more
Tiny droplets of water
Keeping them stored
Until blessed release
Straining under the weight
The clouds mover slower, slower
'Til arriving at a hault

The sky grows dark
No blue is seen
Only hints of white
But they are overpowered
By blacks and grays

CRACK!
The lightning strikes
The thunder roars
Droplets fly from above
Plinking and plunking
On hard surfaces
Hours and hours on end
The wind rushes by

But soon it stops
And gently, ever so gently
The clouds float past
And the sun reappears
To dry up the rain