Judgment

Watch me fervently
With eyes narrowed by jealousy
And swear that you're superior
To my inevitable character flaws

This won't be the first time
And it won't be the last
That accusing words will flow
From that intelligent mouth of yours
Looking down on me
From your golden pedestal

Pardon me for being who I am
And pardon me for enjoying myself
God save my soul from hell
Because my apparent sins
Will send me straight to Hell, right?

The Other Side

Everything I've ever done
I've done with the best intentions
Every rule I ever broke
Has been too rare to mention
I've been holding out so long
And made this love my own invention

Every heart I ever broke
I tried my best to mend
Every story that I've sang
Has always had its end
I'm tired of this fairytale
I want to stop playing pretend

But I can't
So I won't
Although this heart of mine
Is crying for the other side

Every time I look away
You're always there beside me
Every time I needed you
You're always there to guide me
I am begging for a sign
That things aren't always what they seem

Every second that I wait
I view as some days long
Every time I go to sleep
The dreams turn out so wrong
I know inside I am a fool
Though I try to act so strong

But I can't
So I won't
Although this heart of mine
Is crying for the other side

Escape

Me and you against the world
A dream I so long to embrace
For the rest of my waking days

Until now, I was insecure
A beauty locked up in a prison
But my punishment was self-inflicted
And I couldn't free myself

But with you, I am in flight
Reaching even the highest skies
And touching the powdery clouds
With my own fingertips

You helped me be the me
I didn't know that I could be
And now, I can't go back
To the person that I was

My Jumbled Mess Of A Mind

So many things I could say
And so many answers I could write
But the tapping of the keyboard
Would ring in my ears for eternity
So I will try to keep this short

I can't imagine my world changing
I am so terrified to leave you
Scared to the point of tears
Because I don't want to end this
Not when I know this kind of love
Is the type that should last forever

Time is the enemy
And the night is my friend
At midnight, dreamland is the
Most wonderful of companions
Because when I dream
I am always envisioning you

Do you dream of me?
Or am I stupid for asking?
I pray that I am just as capturing
As you are to me
These visions dance in my head
And I will keep them

The thought of everything
Spiraling into change
Is ever present in this day
But I swear, I can't let this end
Because life is a long experience
And I can't be alone for this
Not when I love you so

Neither

I could scream it one thousand times
I could whisper it in your ears
But it never would reach you

You block out my incessant needs
With false promises and neglect
Pretending that I am not here crying
That my words are not coherent
My dreams are lackluster and irrelevant

There's more to me than you know
You preach of your love, but don't show it
And expect me to respond on a whim
As though you are all I'll ever need
But I don't need you
I swear, I do not

There's a difference between necessity and longing
And now, I have neither

Preparations

6-16-13

No one could've prepared me for this
No amount of warning would've kept me on my feet
After you swept me off of them so easily
I wasn't ready at all
But that's the best part of this, isn't it?

The best part of falling in love is the magic
The mystery, the rush of the senses
The incessant laughter, the lack of restraint
The sweet taste of your lips, the warmth of a smile
There isn't a way to a single out your perfections
All of them end in the same result
With me falling ever more in love with you

It isn't easy to write this out
Every insecurity I have, I've bared to you
In hopes that you'll look through them
Like a streak-free sheet of glass
And take this heart of mine into your hands
To keep and hold for as long as you'll have me

I couldn't say it enough to you
How much I need you here with me
That perfect smile, that laugh that picks me up
When this dismal world is crashing down around us
The person I fall more in love with every day
The man I could love for forever, if you'd let me

No amount of preparation could've saved me from this fall
No amount of precaution could've stopped me from myself
Because I know I can be uncontrollable
I didn't even see this coming
But that made it the sweetest surprise, didn't it?

To Know

No one said this would be easy
No one told me it would change
Everything you do, it drives me crazy
Even though not always the same way

I didn't think I'd fall into this
Like the way the Earth pulls at the moon
I don't know how long I'll get through this
But right now, I'm begging for me and you

I've given my senses
A little time to breathe
And everything you do to me
Just brings them back to screams
And I don't want to leave you
And I don't want you to go
But where are you when I need you?
There's a hurt you need to know
A love I want to grow
Tell me, am I supposed to go?
A hurt you need to know

You and I go wild
Like the stars drive us insane
But I break down like a child
When our love is lost to fate

The ground beneath is shaking
Balance lost by restless hands
I try to act like things aren't breaking
But everything has its own plan

I've given my senses
A little time to breathe
And everything you do to me
Just brings them back to screams
And I don't want to leave you
And I don't want to go
But where are you when I need you?
There's a hurt you need to know
Do you just want me to go?
I thought this love was gonna grow
It's a hurt you need to know

It drives me to tears how you
Break down my fears with your
Love but it isn't so picture perfect
But I know I'm worth it

I've given my senses
A little time to breathe
And everything you do to me
Just brings them back to screams
And I don't want to leave you
And I don't want you to go
But where are you when I need you?
There's a hurt you need to know
A love I want to show to the world
There's a hurt you need to know
But baby, I'll show you, show you
Don't you want this love to grow?