Am I A Masochist?

Am I a masochist?
I adore the things that hurt me
The bite in every word against me
The pain in every rejection I get
Because of the hope
A chance that this loneliness will lead
To a love that I desperately desire

I'd let you rip me to pieces
If it meant that one day, you'd love me
All I ever want
And all I could ever need
Rests in your hands
The hands that never touch me
The smile that never lingers in my direction
The eyes that desperately avoid me
And the voice that whispers my name

I hear it
And it's destroying me from the inside out
How I ache with longing
For you, for you, for you
The idea of you and me
Because I can see it, damn it
They can see it
This is more than just a passing glance
This is an emotion
One that is tearing me apart
Killing me from the outside in